How to Define Success & Navigating Expectations as a Woman with Victoria Jenn Rodriguez
This week Host Victoria Jenn Rodriguez gives you a sneak peek into how she is organizing her thoughts for her upcoming book. She vulnerably shares intimate stories from her career that she has never revealed anywhere else, and gives you a behind the scenes look into the experiences that have shaped her journey from Wall Street to entrepreneurship.
In this episode:
10:57 - The Challenges Of Fitting Into A Male-Dominated Environment As A Woman
19:19 - Why Is Authenticity And Boldness Essential For Provoking Shifts In Perception
25:57 - The Pros And Cons Of Being Wealthy
31:16 - How Do You Define Success: Is It Achievement, Fulfillment, Or Something Else Entirely?
37:31 - Why Is It Important To Avoide Imposing Expectations On Others
In this episode:
How to define success on your terms
The challenges of managing expectations of being a woman
The pros and cons of being wealthy
How to receive constructive feedback and use it to your advantage
If you liked this episode, you'll love our next one—it's packed with similar insights and inspiration!
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Full Transcript:
What's up mi gente welcome back to Banking on Cultura I am your host Victoria Jenn Rodriguez and today is going to be a solo episode because I actually had a guest cancel on me and in true entrepreneur form you got to figure it out right and my studio wouldn't let me cancel because it literally was same day so I said you know what let's come in here and do some solo episodes because I love connecting with you guys you know a big goal of this podcast is not only to introduce you to amazing Latinos who are killing it in the game people of color who are betting on themselves every single day who are doing it scared I want you to also get to know more about me more about my story and also share my lessons learned right so I'm actually very appreciative that my guest canceled on me today because it allows me to connect with you guys and tell you a little bit more about me but also just share some things that I've been going through as an entrepreneur and also be really vulnerable in those shares you know a lot of people talk about their stories and it's usually beefs up the wins and the Glam and the glitz and oh yes I'm fabulous I do this I do that but I really like to talk about the failures I really like to talk about the fear and how we were able to manage through that fear and just kind of take off the mask a little bit so I hope with these episodes that message comes through and I would really love your feedback after tuning in to today's episode if I should do more solo episodes is this a Vibe for you are you appreciating this content because then I'll continue to do more right because we're here to serve you guys so I decided as I was on the train coming here today I was like okay well what am I going to talk about because there's so many ways I can go here but I decided to share some intel that I haven't shared anywhere else and because you are our banking on Familia I decided to share it here first so I've been thinking about writing a book for quite some time I actually have my notes open on my phone because what I do and maybe this is a tip that you guys can use because I've been thinking about this book but I haven't actually sat down to write it what I've been doing is I've been keeping in my notes app on my phone stories right things that have happened to me on my journey I've even broken it down into chapters I have some possible titles here because I don't want to forget right because once I do sit my ass down to write this book I want to be able to have some type of template to pull from but most importantly like I don't want to forget we have so many things going on in our lives that it's really easy to forget about the journey and forget about the lessons that got us here and so I hope this is helpful to you if you have a book in you or you're in the process of writing a new book or whatever it is Notes app is your bestie okay I literally my notes app has all my thoughts and all my Shenanigans is in my notes app so I'm going to talk about some subjects that I want to include in this book and hopefully they they land with you and they're going to be kind of like mini story shares so I'm going to hop around a little bit because I want to talk about the ones that really had a huge impact on me and molded me into the woman that I am today and also have really pushed me and challenged me to think about what is it that I truly want what is the type of life that I want to live and what really makes me happy
so let's start with Story number one shall we so the first story I want to share with you is when I was in college I wanted to start in financial services and the only reason why I wanted to start in financial services was because I knew you could make money that's basically the only reason growing up in New York City Wall Street I got introduced to Wall Street at a really early age and I just knew like you know what okay well this is my ticket if I want to make money I want to start out in financial services and so that's exactly what I did so I had an internship my junior year in college and I was shadowing a sales and trading desk and essentially a sales and trading desk is like these huge desks in open floor plan tons of computers and tons of people on the phone getting trades from their clients processing trades and just trying to make as much money as they can during open market hours right so when the stock exchange was open and I remember I had my first internship at Lehman Brothers Lehman Brothers is no longer around unfortunately but it was one of the best experiences of my life so I'm in the internship and listen you could not tell me nothing okay I'm the youngest Latina on the floor I've got my Brooks Brothers suit cuz I had a hook up at Brooks Brothers cuz my boy worked at Brooks Brothers so I was always a fresh to death I used to rock my Tiffany earrings like I looked the part okay but I also looked like I didn't belong right because mainly the people on the sales and trading desk were white men right weren't a lot of women that like me they weren't really women at all and on top of that there really weren't any Latinas whatsoever so my mentor at the time introduced me to one of the Brokers on the sales and trading desk and he was like and she suggested that for the day I Shadow him on the desk so I was hyped because I had never seen anything like that before I was you know I grew up in New York City single dad my dad worked in the restaurant business so as a kid he would wake me up early in the morning and we would go to his restaurant and I would sleep in booths and his restaurant ironically was right near Wall Street it was right near the bull if you're ever been to New York City from New York City they have this bull right in the Wall Street area so it's so interesting now that I'm thinking about it it was almost like foreshadowing even when I was a little girl but my point of sharing this is I never was exposed to a trading desk before I had no idea what to expect what it looked like
so I arrive for my you know day of shadowing and I'm sitting down and all I hear is sell 50 trades of you know Hewlett-Packard sell 20 trades of Bank of America hurry the [ __ ] up come on guys we don't have all this time on our hands let's go let's go put in this short and I'm just like wow I'm like so intrigued because I'm like all the stuff that you see on movies I was actually seeing it in real life and because Victoria Jen is comfortable in her skin she's from New York City she's reading the room she's like wow this is so cool when the broker came by and asked me like what do I think what am I learning the first thing out of my mouth was this [ __ ] is really cool and we went on to talk and he continued to educate me about it the next day I get a call from my mentor she's asking me about the experience I'm telling her how amazing it was and she said hey I I forgot the dude's name we're going to call him John okay she was like John told me that you cursed when you were on the trading desk and he felt that that was very unprofessional of you and I remember thinking to myself unprofessional of me everybody in their mom was cursing on this trading desk okay everybody was cursing and I use [ __ ] which I think is a pretty you know PG-13 type level curse right but it was in that moment that I learned that because I was a woman because I was a woman of color because I was one of very few on that trading desk that did not dress look speak embody male estrogen estrogen you hear me male Shenanigans I couldn't curse but it was totally okay for the fellas to curse it was one of those shifting moments because I learned very quickly that if I wanted to be successful in this industry I was going to have to play a game I was going to have to be mindful of the space that I was in and understand that even though everybody else is doing it there's still an expectation of me that I shouldn't because I'm a woman because I'm a woman of color and it was at that moment that I decided like okay V well you going to play the game or you're not going to play the game so I decided to play the game and and I ended up staying in Wall Street for a few years and there were many instances that came up where it was okay for the men to do it but it was not okay for a woman to do it or it was okay for a woman to do it but if you were a Latina it was frowned upon and I think about my journey now and where I've come and the lesson that I learned from that experience not only did I learn that I had to play the game but I also learned that every room I walk into there's going to be some type of assumption made about me and or there's going to be a certain expectation of me because I have breasts right so that stood with me throughout my entire career and even now as an entrepreneur so that's a story that I want to make sure that I include in the book A because I know I'm not alone I know there are plenty of women who can relate to this story but also I hope it encourages the fellas who pick up the book to think about why was it inappropriate like why is it inappropriate for a woman to do something but if a man is doing exactly the same thing he's cool it's totally fine no problem he's a bro
next story okay next story I want to share with you this is a recent story from a meeting that I had with a long time sponsor of mine he has been an incredible partner for me since I started my entrepreneur Journey seven years ago a tremendous source of knowledge of love I know he truly cares about me any feedback that he gives me I I tend to pay more attention to because I know it always comes from a great place and with positive intentionality but there was a recent interaction that we had that made me pause and and think a little bit about H is it because it's me and you guys are going to get what I mean in a second so here's the story so to set context this meeting was a check-in meeting I hadn't seen him in a while and also a meeting to ask for money because I have this event coming up and he's been a partner of ours forever but before we even got to the money part he's telling me about this amazing trip that he just took with his family and how incredibly lifechanging it was and how now he has he's completely transformed his his life has shifted he is a new man he has a new outlook on life all the things and I was like wow that's incredible when somebody shares that type of story with me I always want to learn more right because my objective is always to live my best life and evolve so he's sharing this story and he's telling me how it was so overwhelming for him to experience this because there was so many people but there were so many shock factors and there were so many instances where he couldn't believe what what he was seeing with his own eyes and so it was very overwhelming for him and his family but mind you I told you that he said it was one of the most incredible experiences of his life so we continue in conversation and he says hey I'm going to introduce you to someone who I think is a great connection for you but I just want you to be mindful of how your personality can come off sometimes and I said H interesting I told you guys that I value his feedback I always welcome constructive feedback especially from people who I respect and admire so you know I leaned in and I said hey tell me more like what do you mean and he said well you know sometimes Victoria Jen your your personality it can be overwhelming and I thought to myself interesting in this situation he's essentially giving me a warning signal he's like hey like kind of like tone it down or or be mindful that your personality can be overwhelming and almost positioning it like it was a negative thing but yet two minutes earlier he was telling me about his incredible experience on this vacation with his family which he also categorized as overwhelming so I thought to myself when you get feedback from people or when someone says you're too much or you're this or you're that you should tone down this or or maybe you should approach it differently I want you to take it with a grain of salt because here I have someone that I respect and admire telling me how he was so appreciative of this overwhelming experience because it transformed him but then in the same breath he was telling me hey your personality can be overwhelming and almost positioning it as if it was a bad thing how many times have you received some feedback from someone that kind of totally threw you off unexpected did not align with your values or or how you think about yourself and you internalized it and you then second guessed yourself a little bit or you started to walk in rooms differently or maybe you started to doubt yourself and it was in this moment that I was like when somebody gives you feedback about your personality about who you are how you show up in a room taking it with a grain of salt is so critical to your mental health and to your emotional health and just overall how you show up in the world because here is a prime example of someone who used the same word to describe something that changed his life to also describe something that could be a warning or or could be a detriment to this possible relationship that I will build with this person so the key takeaway here is if someone ever tells you who you are and why you are and doesn't align with how you feel just think about first the messenger right Super Key and important who the message is coming from but also I want you to think about is it true like do you believe it I know God put me on this Earth for a reason and I know that my energy can be a lot I know that my light can blind you and I also know that my personality can be overwhelming however what I have been blessed with is the magic of being all of those things because all of those things actually get people to shift how they think and how they behave if I always made everyone comfortable if I always made people content if I always made people feel as if they had nothing to worry about they would never themselves try to expand they would never themselves challenge themselves to think hm maybe I should do this differently or or maybe I should reflect on on what was just told to me or maybe I should reflect on why I'm feeling this way right so if you are on this Earth and you are doing purposeful work you are operating in your truth not everybody is going to Vibe with you and not everybody's going to get it in the moment but I have so many examples of people who have met me and who have developed their own preconceptions judgments of who I am because they themselves were uncomfortable in their own skin or they themselves weren't really aligned with who they are and so they projected right that on to me who later then became fans right who later then became my best supporters so I hope that you take away you are meant to be a light and if that is what you are doing and grooving understand then not everybody's going to get it at first and you got to be comfortable with that
next story we interrupt our program to bring you this important message ooh this is really good you should know about this so I don't know about you but I've been known to procrastinate especially when things scare the hell out of me the fear alone would have me stuck overwhelmed confused and all types of self-doubt and don't even get me started on the impostor syndrome okay after getting laid off not once but three times honey I realized that the security blanket that I made up in my head was just an excuse because I didn't really want to bet on myself the corporate benefits that had me in that headlock girl they went out the window once my job decided that they no longer needed me it turns out that I'll save a whole nickel if I cut your salary completely the truth is the only security blanket guarantee is the one that you create for yourself in other words until you start a business you will always be at the mercy of a company's headcount and you will never have complete control over your time which means you'll be renting out your thought leadership and helping build someone else's dream instead of your own if you've been waiting for a sign this is it don't you think it's time you stop playing small and tap all the way into your powers click on the link above or below this video to learn my three-step process the exact three steps that I took to make the transition from corporate to entrepreneurship and this is helpful even if you don't know what type of business to start and have only one source of income and this is absolutely free it is my gift to you I want you to win it's winning season in fact what's that it smells like winning season Okay so tap in and I'll see you inside the training let's go Mi gente I need your help look the real game behind podcast is we need to really understand our demo AKA you our audience so that when we go out to sponsors who help us put on this amazing show and deliver this content to you that they can clearly understand who we serve and what is significant to you and what you value and the only way for us to get that information is for you to give it to us so we just created this survey I'll put it in the show notes it will take you less than 3 minutes literally but it will be so helpful for us to get a better understanding of what it is that you care about what's important to you what do you value so that when we're out in these streets trying to secure the big bag and get sponsors for this show they know exactly who our audience is and what you care about so we can bring you the best products we can bring you the best organizations that are out here serving the Cultura the community you so please please take a moment and fill out the survey I'll link it in the show notes appreciate you
this is an interesting one so I actually have been going back and forth of whether or not to make this an actual chapter title or to fit this in into another chapter so I'm literally thinking this out loud with you guys because I think another cool part of Banking on Cultura and what I want to make sure comes through is just understanding the thought process of how things come to life and how ideas become reality so I'm giving you kind of some inside scoop here so one of the things I want to include in this book is how I'm stuck between wanting to be a like wanting to make millions and not wanting those type of headaches can any of you relate to that I'm around a lot of people who are wealthy who have made a name for themselves who live incredibly fabulous lives from the outside they live in a bombass house they drive amazing cars they're always taking trips with their family you would think they were living because these folks are in my network and they trust me they share things with me about their lives that really make me question whether or not I actually want to be a multi-millionaire like is that something that I want because with that comes a lot of responsibility right a lot of responsibility a lot of headaches a lot of sacrifices because these people are working working okay it's not like that money is coming to them easily you know they're busting their ass to make this money and once they've achieved a certain level they also have now created this lifestyle right centered around this money that they now need to maintain because let me tell you something one thing that's going to kill your ego and pride is you having to dial back from something that you work work so hard to build up okay if you work so hard to get this bombass house and then you decide you want to downsize you're going to feel way about it so now you have these situations where people have bust their ass they accumulated this wealth and now they have this lifestyle that they just can't get away with which brings me to another fun story when I was working on Wall Street I used to drive sometimes into the office and I used to drive what did I have at that time I think I had like a did I have a Nissan Altima or was it an Infiniti I I can't remember but I used to drive up in the parking lot and I used to park where all you know the sales and Traders would park where the CEO would park people on the executive team so they would come in with their fly ass cars and I remember one day it's so crazy that things happen into your life and they literally shape you into who you are I'm just thinking about this now since I'm sharing this million story with you I remember walking out with one of the Brokers and I said to him I said are you happy this was I was what 22 years old straight out of college because actually that internship that I had at Lehman Brothers they ended up extending me a a full-time offer even though that broker tried to hate on me and and told me I was unprofessional for cursing on the trading floor but anywho so I was like like 22 years old just out of college and I asked the broker like hey are you happy and I'll never forget what he said to me he turned around and he said I'm not but I managed to create a life for me and my family where there's no turning back now so I just had to stick it out and I was like wow I continued to walk with him and I remember in that moment feeling so lucky feeling so lucky that I didn't I wasn't stuck in a job that I didn't want to do just because I've accumulated this money and this lifestyle that now I have no other choice but to stick it out right and to do this thing that I know that I really that I am not happy I'm not happy but I have to do it because now I have all these responsibilities that I've incurred as a result of making all this money so this is when I was 22 years old when I was first introduced to the most wealth I had ever been introduced to before because I was working on Wall Street I would manage accounts that were like $50 million $100 million and this was people's play-play money right my first introduction so even back then it was almost like God was signaling something to me like V pay attention yes you're around all this money and you're getting invited to the Yachts you're sitting courtside seats you're doing all the fabulous things but remember the world that you are in and really think about is that what you want like is that what you want to do do you really want a life where you have to continue to do things that no longer serve you or fulfill you just because you're making all this money so the chapter or part of a chapter where I'm going to speak about being stuck between wanting to make the millions but not wanting those headaches is really about encouraging myself and also all of you to just take a hot minute sit your ass down and really think about what is it that makes you happy truly and what is it that you need versus what is it that you want like what is that number right do you need a million dollars to be happy do you need $500,000 to be happy do you need to make 250 a year to be happy is it just six figures right like what do you need to actually be happy and sit with that for a second and really think about that because I believe that should serve as your compass right not what you see on social media not even what you hear on Banking on Cultura right because we have super successful people who come on this show right Money-Wise right looking from the outside in which brings me to the next question I want you to ask yourself is how do you define success what does success mean to you is Success you know the 50 acres is Success you having the membership at the golf club is Success you being able to hop on a flight whenever you want is Success you being able to manage your own time is success you being able to take a self-care day whenever you want what does success mean to you and writing it down taking the time to write it down and and reflect and and think on that for a second because so many folks out here are Gone With the Wind Fabulous they are following other people's trajectory they're following other people's rules they are looking at what is visually appealing because they don't have the background story right they don't have the background story so they're just looking at the highlights and they are envious right and they're feeling like wow why not me why is that not me not knowing that that person you are aspiring to be might just got diagnosed with cancer and has six months to live would you still want to be that person or maybe you're looking at somebody who has I don't know a family and from the outside they've got the pictures that they take around Christmas with the matching pajamas and they look so happy but behind the scenes they haven't been intimate for 5 years is that what you want all of us have to challenge ourselves to think for ourselves challenge ourselves to think for ourselves once you do life will become more fruitful life will become more you will be more happy and at peace because you truly are content with who you are and you're happy with who you are and you're happy with where you are in your life because you're not comparing it to anybody else because you've done the work to Define what makes you happy what does success mean for you and what do you really need versus what you want woo I hope you are feeling this cuz I I'm feeling the spirit in the room right now so here's what I'm thinking about including in my book y'all I hope you are vibing with this and I hope that this is something you're getting exciting about excited about because I'm certainly excited because I haven't spoken about this publicly I haven't really told people in my network that I've been keeping this note log but I have and every time I come across a story that shifts me I just make sure to put it here on my notes so that I can read it out loud to myself and also make sure I don't forget because there's so many moments that come up and I know I'm not alone you guys have so many moments in your lives that come up that are significant so I'll share One More
Story this is a funny one another mentor of mine different industry so outside of financial services um but someone that I also respect and admire we were hanging out one day and we went to the strip club and we went no we actually did not go to the strip club that is incorrect we went to a casino we went to a casino um we're chitchatting we're playing having a good old time and he tells me that the night before he went to a strip club the night before he went to a strip club and he gave a stripper $5,000 he gave a stripper $5,000 and it was so interesting to me because literally the whole day I was talking to him about my business I was talking to him about my ideas I was talking to him about my plans I was talking to him about my strategy I was talking to him about how I was going to execute it I was talking about what would happen if I had money come in what I would do and here he is telling me how the night before he gave a stripper $5,000 no shade to the strippers out there follow the story he gave a stripper $5,000 the night before because she sat on his lap and told him a Kumbaya story about how she wanted to go to school and she wanted to get out of the strip club and she needed this money to go and you know change her life and I'm just like so interesting here you have someone that you've seen in action I'm literally telling you my dreams I'm not half naked though that is that is a difference but you know me right you know me you know how hard I work and did you offer to give me $5,000 so that I can build my business and change my life no you did not but you gave the $5,000 to the stripper and maybe maybe that was on me for having certain expectations maybe I shouldn't have thought of you know felt way about it but I did and then what's also interesting is maybe um a couple of months later I was having a reunion um a celebration a five-year celebration for my business cuz I had just hit five years in business and I invited him because he's a mentor and he showed up and he ended up like paying for the whole bill which was amazing and I appreciate so much but I couldn't help but think about like first of all let me make this clear I'm not one to count anybody's Pockets I'm not one to tell anybody what they should do with their money but it was just real interesting to me that that happened and the lesson that I got away from that was that you know the people in your life who say that they support you the people in your life who lend a a an ear the people in your life who give you advice the people in your life who make introductions for you the people in your life that you consider of importance be careful of the expectations you put on them but also always remember and this is a great way to end this episode always remember that the only person that got you at the end of the day is you the only only person that got you at the end of the day is you so instead of waiting for someone to give you something instead of waiting for someone to give you permission validation money whatever it is if it's on your heart do it because trust and believe everybody comes to the parade one is packed and that concludes today's episode thank you so much for being here guys I hope you enjoyed this please please please give me your feedback in the comments I would love to know if this landed with you and really appreciate you guys I love you and I'll see you on the next episode
Mi gente I need your help look the real game behind podcast is we need to really understand our demo AKA you our audience so that when we go out to sponsors who help us put on this amazing show and deliver this content to you that they can clearly understand who we serve and what is significant to you and what you value and the only way for us to get that information is for you to give it to us so we just created this survey I'll put it in the show notes it will take you less than 3 minutes literally but it will be so helpful for us to get a better understanding of what it is that you care about what's important to you what do you value so that when we're out in these streets trying to secure the big bag and get sponsors for this show they know exactly who our audience is and what you care about so we can bring you the best products we can bring you the best organizations that are out here serving the Cultura the community you so please take a moment and fill out the survey I'll link it in the show notes appreciate you we interrupt our program to bring you this important message ooh this is really good you should know about this so I don't know about you but I've been known to procrastinate especially when things scare the hell out of me the fear alone would have me stuck overwhelmed confused and all types of self-doubt and don't even get me started on the impostor syndrome okay after getting laid off not once but three times honey I realized that the security blanket that I made up in my head was just an excuse because I didn't really want to bet on myself the corporate benefits that had me in that headlock girl they went out the window once my job decided that they no longer needed me it turns out that I'll save a whole nickel if I cut your salary completely the truth is the only security blanket guarantee is the one that you create for yourself in other words until you start a business you will always be at the mercy of a company's headcount and you will never have complete control over your time which means you'll be renting out your thought leadership and helping build someone else's dream instead of your own if you've been waiting for a sign this is it don't you think it's time you stop playing small and tap all the way into your powers click on the link above or below this video to learn my three-step process the exact three steps that I took to make the transition from corporate to entrepreneurship and this is helpful even if you don't know what type of business to start and have only one source of income and this is absolutely free it is my gift to you I want you to win it's winning season in fact what's that it smells like winning season okay so tap in and I'll see you inside the training let's go hey guys if you enjoyed this video I'm pretty sure you're going to love the next one so make sure to click right here and tap in to the next episode.