The Cost of Blending In: How Dr Nadja Fidelia Broke Barriers on Wall Street
At just 11 years old, Dr. Nadja Fidelia’s father told her, “The worst thing to be is born Black, and even worse, a Black woman.”
In this unfiltered, deeply powerful interview, Dr. Fidelia shares how those words shaped her journey to becoming one of the top Black executives on Wall Street. She unpacks the emotional and strategic choices that helped her climb the ranks in a world dominated by white men, without losing her soul.
Learn from one of Victoria Jenn’s longest mentors and how she not only changed the game for women of color on Wall Street, but also shaped the woman Victoria Jenn is today.
In this episode:
Why Dr. Fiedlia chose to emulate white male leaders to "get in the room"
What every woman should wear on the trading floor, even if she’s not married
How looking like a million can actually get you a million
Balancing love and ambition
Why Dr. Fidelia told Barack Obama he’d be president before he knew it
How faith helped Dr. Fidelia reclaim her identity after 20 years of masking it
In This Episode:
03:36 - Go To Work, Make Money, And Be Better
9:55 - Being Black On The Trading Floor
16:52 - Navigating Disrespect As A Woman In Finance
23:33 - Dress To Earn: The Million-Dollar Look
31:10 - Don’t Dim Your Light—Just Listen More
45:59 - Purpose As Fuel: Why Work Should Energize You
Full Transcript:
The worst thing that can happen to you is to be born black. And even worse is to be born a black woman because the world just doesn't have space for you. As you said to me, if I ever feel like I need to fit in or not at a disadvantage when I'm walking into these rooms where there's incredible wealth, go out and buy yourself a ring. That if you look like a million, someone will give you a million.
My guests are just amazing. But today, today honey, we have a true treat. We have Nadja Fidelia. Actually, let me correct myself. Dr. Nadja Fidelia, who started her career on Wall Street, spent about 20 plus years there, then completely reinvented herself and studied at a ministry to get her doctorate. Like, just incredible. This woman is amazing. She's worked with the Obamas. She's worked with some of the best and the well-known around the world and you guys are going to get all her nuggets here today on today's show. We're talking career, we're talking love, we're talking business, we're talking life, we're talking God, we are just talking it all, honey. So, make sure you get your notepad and your pen and enjoy the show. So, Na, I would love for us to start with how we met because I think that's an interesting story. So, we both went to Peru College. Um we graduated from there and I started as an intern at Lehman Brothers which is where you spent most of your career. Yes. 20 years. 20 years. And when I was an intern all I heard was Nadja. You have to meet Nadjali. You have to meet Nadja. And I'm like who is this woman? Because as you know you were a celebrity there. And I was soon to find that out myself. So I looked you up and I was like oh we went to the same school. So being the networking queen that I am shot you an email like hey I'm an intern here. went to the same school and I think within 15 minutes you responded to me and was like yes of course I'm down to meet you set it up and to me that spoke volumes because you were a managing director at the time and it spoke volumes to your character but it also made me feel really good about being at Lehman Brothers right so that's how our relationship started and ever since you have been in my life um playing a very critical role in the woman that I am today so thank you so much for serving in that capacity and for being here today because Nadja does not do interviews. It's very hard uh to get her on camera. So, she um is doing that because of our relationship. Um so, I thank you so much for that. You're welcome. So, I want us to start with now that folks know how we met. Where does your story begin? On a small island with um six plus million people, Porter Prince, Haiti. Um, I lived there up until the age of 11 and then I moved here uh in Queens, New York with my father uh and my uh two other siblings, my two brothers. So, your upbringing, how did that land you in finance? Was that planned? It's interesting because I think since I was a young girl, I've just always believed I was going to make a lot of money and I love making money and I loved working hard. And I think it came from my dad. My dad had such strong work ethics. He worked all the time. But beyond just working, he would say, "No matter what's going on in life, no matter what's going on in the world, as long as you're working and you're working hard and you're making money, everything's going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay." Okay. So for me that instilled the belief that all I had to do no matter there would be obstacles in life. But no matter what's going on, what I had to do was go to work and make money and that would just help everything be better. Whether that was the right way to be or not the right way to be. That started me in a workaholic phase that at 13 I worked at a supermarket and I remember throughout high school. I worked 60 hours a week while I was in high school. Wow. And I volunteered every extra hour I could to work u because for me I was earning money. I needed it and um it helped me just solidify myself and have independence and that independence meant a lot to me at a young age. And you also worked full-time while you were in college as well. Absolutely. And I think that was the advice um from a senior manager at my first job. One day they just said to me, you know, uh what do you want to do when you grow up? and I said, "I want to work on Wall Street." And they said, "Well, you didn't go to an Ivy League school, and you don't have any friends on on Wall Street, so it's going to be very hard for you to get in." So, we recommend something that we wouldn't advise our children, which is go to school part-time and go work full-time, and we're going to recommend you to a large corporation, and you can work your way from there. And I took the advice and the manager sent me to Hilton International. I was hired immediately by a friend of hers who was a director of sales and I spent many years from the age of 19 to uh 22 working for this manager and I solved a lot of interesting problems then around 401k plan. I was just so interested in everything computers and uh making a difference and trying to show that I was very talented and after working there uh they were purchased by Ladbrook Group in London and Ladbrook Group came and offered me a job in London at 22. That would be a dream job except I wanted to go to Wall Street and that was here in New York. So, I begged them to give me a severance package and to allow me the opportunity to go look for a job on Wall Street. And that's what I did. And they gave me one month free to stay at any hotel around the world. I got to pick. And they gave me $3,000 to travel and not pay for it. And they said if I didn't get a job on Wall Street, I would have my job back. So, I didn't know why they were doing all of that, but I quickly spent the money, ended the trip, and once I did that, I went to seven interviews a day on Wall Street until I landed a job at Sher Leman Brothers. And that was the beginning of a wonderful career. Um, that span, as I mentioned, you know, almost 20 years. Wow. So, there's a lot that I'm learning cuz I didn't even know all of that. So, how many languages do you speak fluently, Na? Well, I'm fluent in French, fluent in Creole, which is Haitian Creole. I'm fluent hopefully in English and I speak Spanish and I dabble a little bit in Portuguese, a little bit of Russian. Um, just because I love languages. I'm fascinated by languages. My grandfather spoke nine languages. Wow. And he was of Greek descent. So he also had the Greek. So from time to time I throw in a few Greek words that I remember from knowing him. Um, but I can adapt to any language. My most recent one that I'm trying to target is Hebrew because I'd love to partner that with my theology background. That is amazing. And I think that speaks to the intellect, right? And just your yearning for always wanting to learn more and more, which probably made you an amazing person on Wall Street because everybody could relate to you. So, I want to dive a little bit deeper into your experience. Um, you know, why Wall Street? Was it because it was marketed to you as that was a place to make money? Well, I have to admit that Wall Street now that I can reflect back, I can see why I picked Wall Street. On a personal level, my dad always instilled in us that um the worst thing that can happen to you is to be born black and even worse is to be born a black woman because the world just doesn't have space for you. And that hurt it when I was 11 hearing that message and every year after. And he wasn't saying that to diminish who I was, but he was saying that to protect me and and and manage my expectations. And so I didn't believe him. And I was determined to prove him wrong. And I knew that I had the heart and soul resilience and hard work ethic in me to prove him wrong. And where's the one place you can go and prove him wrong? but a trading floor with 600 white male and be the black woman who succeeds through that. And that's exactly why I chose Wall Street. And that's exactly what I did. And within 10 years, I was managing director surpassed most people's expectation, including mine. And um I was offered jobs after jobs at Lehman, jobs that probably I wasn't qualified for as of yet. But they kept thinking she could do more, she could do more, she could do more. So they gave me opportunities. I never dreamed of. And um and so I think again it was fueled by my dad. And I think my mom came into the picture because my mom loved people. She would do anything for anybody. She would give her last meal to someone who's in need. And I think my love for people allowed me to actually enjoy my job on Wall Street because meeting all these incredible smart people and and people who are striving to do the best that they can do and be living their full potential and becoming successful and traveling the world. Um, I found I fell in love with that. I fell in love with the people at Lehman Brothers, which made it very hard for me when Lehman filed bankruptcy uh that I couldn't work somewhere else and market a different brand because Lehman was my brand. I drank that Kool-Aid and I loved it. Me too. I still say to this day, Leman had one of the best cultures ever and I've worked across five different major industries so I've seen my fair share and I think the reason why is because of the people. The people made that place. Um, for sure. But I want to go back to being black on the trading floor. Yes. What about you or what you did allowed this accileration in your career? There had to be something within you because there were other black women, not many, who were on the street same time as you did did not achieve the same success. So, what was it? I think it's something that um my approach was listening back to my dad, that little voice in my head. Um, if white male win, I wanted to win as a black woman. So, how can I do that? I'm going to emulate white male. Whatever they do, what they eat, what their values are, where they go, how they spend their time, what they talk about, if it's sports, if it's baseball, I'm going to learn everything about it. And I wanted to be just one of the guys. And I got on the trading floor and I became just that. It took a while. There was a lot of hazing in the beginning. Um, but I set my uh standards and requirements and I think everybody realized I was serious. I wanted to have a successful career and I was hardworking and I had their back and I expected them to have mine and I think people ended up having a lot of respect for me on the trading floor. Um, but I spent a lot of time with everyone on trading floor. After work, we drank beer together and we played darts at bars and and I got to know baseball and I got to know football and I got to learn as much as I can about different things that mattered. Um, and that's why sometime today it's quite complicated. But I say I completely understand what a white men think because I walked in their shoes to fit in and it worked. And I think people just didn't think of me as a black woman on the desk anymore. I think people just saw me as Nadja. uh to the point where 10 years later, somebody came to me as I was a vi senior vice president uh heading to MD. He says, "Isn't it hard for you to look around the treating floor and not see someone that look like you?" And I said, "I never noticed. I'm one of everybody else here." And so even I didn't think of myself as a gender or color anymore. I was just one of the guys and I was going to work just as hard and I was going to have a budget and I was going to try to compete and outperform and stand out as much as I could. So, let's talk a little deeper about that because being one of the boys and growing up on Wall Street at the time that you did, I mean, there's still plenty of room for progress, but a lot has changed since your time. So, as hard as you tried or if your goal was to be one of the guys, what happened when being one of the guys tested you as a woman? Did they bother you? Do you have an example you can share with us? How did you handle that? Well, I think that for me when I ended up developing a client base in Latin America, a couple of things happened because when I traveled across Latin America for the first time in my life being in the US, I felt like I belonged somewhere. Um, I think I, you know, because of the upbringing and the challenges being a woman, being black, I just didn't spend a lot of time with people that look like me. Uh, but when I got to Latin America, people welcomed me. I spoke Spanish and they wanted me to be them, and everybody wanted to know which Latin American country you came from, and they couldn't believe I came from Haiti and spoke French. But I learned their language so fluently and so well with the culture and the even the the sound and pronunciation. Um but there was a certain kind of warmth and welcome that I didn't feel living in America that I felt in America. And I think that helped me really enjoy my job in emerging markets. First, you know, I was in investment banking focus in emerging markets countries. Then I moved to the trading floor, traded emerging markets for over 12 years. And I think that I enjoyed my job because all of my clients made me feel welcome, made me feel part of them, made me feel part of their culture. I traveled with my son to over 30 countries visiting these countries with my clients and they took care of my son while I worked. And so um there was a a warmth, a love, a admiration, a place where I really fit. I was trying to fit on the trading floor. I was trying to be a white guy to do well on Wall Street, but Latin America welcomed me. It was the place that said, "No, you fit with us." And I really enjoyed that. I really enjoyed being wanted uh being part of something greater than me. And it was all because I spoke a language. And I think that's my love for languages is that it brings me to communities that otherwise would not have known me and I would not have known them. So that's not what I was getting at. I know, and I know you went, you know, the diplomatic way, but I think this is a really important point. Um, and really interesting about your story. So, how did you fit in when it came to disrespect for women on the trading floor? Hola, look, I don't know about you, but I'm trying to work smarter instead of harder. You know what I mean? I'm trying to secure these coins with less effort, but more return. What if I told you there was a way for you to make your entire salary, your five, your six figure salary within months? What if I told you there was a way for you to package your expertise where you can sell it to corporate and government agencies and go after lucrative five and six figure contracts so that you can secure the big deal. And this master class specifically focuses on how you can secure lucrative five and six figure contracts even if you don't know what to sell and haven't started your business yet. I'm going to show you how to identify what your no-brainer offer is so nobody can say no. Honey, I'm going to help you think about how to pitch yourself, how to package your expertise. I'm going to show you the email scripts that I use to lock in meetings with hardto-reach executives. This is golden, y'all. It is the same framework that I use right now currently in my business as a consultant and a keynote speaker that gets blown out to speak all around the world, honey. And if I can do it, so can you. And this master class is going to break down the stepbystep process that you can follow. So within the next 90 days, you can have your first five and six figure corporate or government contract. I mean, what are you waiting for, y'all? I put the link in the show notes. Let's go and get it. Well, um I remember vividly at one point I had a situation where um somebody crossed the line and uh my response to that was very seriously looking at them in the eye. I said there is a 6'4 man in my house and he's 225 lbs. When he walk into the room, I am terrified. I love all of you so much and I appreciate working at Leman Brothers so much that I don't want to teach you what he taught me. Okay. Never cross the line. Okay. And I think everyone heard that. Yeah. And they all stood up and clapped. Oh. And said, "You made it." I don't know what that meant, but I think that made a lot of people back off. Now, that didn't mean that I wouldn't meet a client that thought, you know, just putting their hands on a thigh wouldn't would be okay, and you're like, "No." Um, those things happened. Uh, but you certainly quickly create your boundaries. Um, I've met people, not so much that cross the line of the gender, but it was more about, um, you're Haitian, do you live in Brooklyn? Or, um, you people don't go to Broadway plays, but I have two free tickets. Do you want to try it out? Those kind of comments that were more stereotypical than of a sexual tone. more than anything only because I think people were just at this stage. They knew me. They knew how hard I worked. They knew how serious I was. And so a lot of people thought twice before they crossed that line. Yeah. Cuz they didn't really want to know what that 225 lb 6'4 man taught her. Got it. Got it. Okay. Um and then I assume with the biases and the stereotypical comments, you spoke to yourself and said, "No, don't sweat it, Nadja. There's a bigger picture here. I I'm glad you asked that question cuz that's an important one. I think because I never got very angry at people who said comments like that. Instead, I would say uh I've been to every Broadway play I can think of and I've seen four or five times cuz I happen to love it. So, that's an appropriate thing, but I do want your two free tickets. So, don't say that again, but thank you for thinking of me. So, I will say it that way. And a lot of people who have said those kind of comments are very close friends of mine today and they really appreciated that I didn't get angry. Um I think sometimes you know we grew up with in cultures where things are said around us. Our parents say things and friends say things and we end up adopting it. Sometime we don't even know we have it innately in our brains. Um and we go out and we repeat it as if it's it's the Bible but it's not. And so I forgive more than I was ever angry uh on Wall Street about things like that. Uh but there were tough times. There were time there were things that required the person leaving the firm and and we dealt with that. But I didn't get angry. I usually told my boss, if you think that was bad, you get angry for me because you don't want me to be angry. And we left it at that and everything was handled. So I think Lehman Brothers has always had a tough stance on things like this and I was very close to my HR department. So um whenever something was too much for me to handle I would always go to them and say what do you think of this? How would you handle that? Um and I was a big proponent of asking for help if something was above me and I felt offended by it. Um so I think the advice I would always give everybody is get some help. Always have an HR friend in your pocket and ask senior people for guidance in things. You don't want them to solve it for you, but you say, "How would you handle this?" I'm pretty sure they'll handle it for you in the background, but you didn't ask for help. You just said, "Guide me." And now they know what happened. Now they're going to do something about it. And this way, you didn't talk about anybody. You just asked for help, right? Yeah. I hope you guys are taking notes on this cuz these are nuggets. These are gems right here. Remember, I did not want to go to Wall Street to create enemies. And one other message my dad always told me is don't ever leave your job cuz someone pushed you out. Leave your job because you're done with it. So, whatever obstacle you have to deal with with someone, deal with it or have somebody else deal with it for you. But you don't leave your job because you're upset. And you don't leave your job because someone is intimidating you. Learn to use your words to get you out of it nicely. Always diplomatically. I think it's almost rare that anybody would say, "I've seen Nadja angry." That didn't mean I didn't get angry. It just means that people didn't see it. It wasn't public. I used a lot of diplomacy when I needed to handle a situation. It was I'll be right back. Hold that thought. I'll get back to you. Mhm. If you want to cry, go to the bathroom and handle that, but never let anybody see you cry. Mhm. And I think that came, you know, your upbringing was very interesting. Your father was very strict and I think almost to the point of um emotionless. So it taught you how to perform in that manner as well, which served you very well. Absolutely. Um throughout your career. So very interesting. Um so I want to switch gears a little bit and go to women. So, when I was on Wall Street, Latina, you saw me, you invested in me, you poured into me, and there was something you shared with me that I still carry with me to this day. And it was, I forget why we even got into this conversation, but what I do recall is you said to me, "If I ever feel like I need to fit in or not at a disadvantage when I'm walking into these rooms where there's incredible wealth, and I obviously did not come from wealth, one of the suggestions you made was go out and buy yourself a ring." Mhm. because people will create biases about you if you don't have the ring. And also because you're around all these wealthy people who have these like five carats that they're running around, they they identify you with the level of income you make. So, can you talk a little bit more about that? Yes. Um I'm of the model that if you look like a million, someone will give you a million. So, one is the dress code is critical. I don't want to wait till I make a million dollars to look like a million dollars. And I certainly don't want to go into an environment where everybody looks like a million and want to only spend time with people who make a million and I don't look the part. So I was a very big St. John suit even casually at home going to the supermarket. I always toss my St. John on because I always thought it looked fabulous. No one knew who I was. No one knew how much money I was making. You had to ask me who I was for me to share. But my outfit told you I'm important. And that was important to me. And I think when it comes to diamonds, I certainly helped the diamond industry because this is an advice I've given to many. One, you work very hard. You deserve it. Put a diamond on the right hand for yourself as your own gift to pamper yourself because these type of jobs are tough. And these type of jobs, we get very little sleep. Four hours of sleep a day, that much. And so when working so hard, we should treat ourselves and pamper ourselves. and diamonds have a sparkly way of making that happen. Well, so I advise that to uh to you and to others because I do think that as I escalated in my career and I spent time with vice chairman and other senior women at the firm, everybody looked a certain way and dressed a certain way and certainly was wearing their five plus carat ring and I didn't want to feel left out. And so I believed in having the 5 karat ring in this hand and the diamond on the other. And therefore, no one asked any questions and they just knew, well, whatever it is, she looks apart and she must fit in. Mhm. And that gave me a pass and I got to know incredible people. Uh, and um maybe some I was wearing the St. John outfit, but I think it helped. Yeah. And you had mentioned something about when you came across a male that saw the ring on your right hand, they would say, "I'm going to get you one bigger." Yes. I mean, that was shocking to me. I was not expecting that. Um, but I would be at events and people would say, "I can bid higher than the 5 karat you're wearing." And I just never had a comeback on that one. Yeah. I told Nadja behind the scenes, she needs to put me in those rings. All right. Sh. I need someone to say that to me. But this is a good segue into what I want to talk about next, which is love and ambition. So, you know, as a very successful woman has been ambitious since day one. You guys have heard it since she was born. She's had it in her. Um, how has that been? How has that played out for you? I have to admit the most challenging part of my life has been love. Uh I would say that uh I married my high school sweetheart and I have a wonderful son who's 32 today that I love dearly. So the product of that relationship has been endless unconditional love ever since. And I tell my son all the time my success has a lot to do with the unconditional love he provided because I was 22 years old joining Lehman Brothers uh in the investment banking department and Allan was already two. So I have to admit that he's been with me throughout the entire journey. Um the but once I became started to become successful I was a VP on the trading desk. I think it was challenging to his dad that one I wanted to work on Wall Street. Two that I wanted to make more money than than you know anybody else or or my ambition. It bothered him in in some ways but he knew it was me. It was my nature. And I think that became a challenge between us because he wanted to establish himself and be successful, but he wanted his wife to be by his side behind him as he's becoming successful. And I thought that was great cuz I wanted him to be successful. I I helped him uh as much as I could. Um but I think the culture of my generation had certain expectation of of a woman and her ambition and how far she would go. And I think I was a victim of that in in many ways. Um but I also knew I couldn't let anybody else hold me back. Uh including the the man I chose to father my child who um you know I love dearly to this day and we're very close friends. Um but it's it's I I had to go. I knew at that stage. So after 12 years of marriage we divorced and I continued my career. Instead, I invested more in me and I focused on my career and and then it did for a long time and my work became my pride and joy and and that's why I traveled with Allan around all these countries because I I felt like, you know, with a divorce that already bothered him. I didn't want to be traveling all over without him. So, he tagged along every time I went in Latin America or anywhere else in Europe um with me. So uh I think that love is challenging and the advice I used to give after my experience was pick somebody that understand the line of work you want to be in. uh because early on I mean I was in high school so of course I didn't know to have this conversations but if you have the opportunity to have this conversation up front the the conversation around what career you're choosing how many hours that means out of the relationship and and what if there was a choice to have children who would take care of the children all these conversations needs to happen up front and it needs to happen with a partner that understands your where you want to go and what is your potential and where you want to take that. And I didn't have those conversations. So early on, I didn't know. So I I tossed my first relationship as a lack of experience and ignorance. And so um you don't want to go into a relationship being ignorant of these conversations. You want to know what's the expectation on both sides. Uh secondly, I think that overall my uh second and third attempts have been where I go in thinking just like I go to work and I want to prove myself and I want to show how um I'm able I go into the relationship talking about how great I am and how much I can do just to impress the person. And of course that's backfires completely because again it's about them. It's about their light and they already know who you are. that's why they're choosing you. So sometimes we need to back off. So the ambition we show up in in our careers in our offices to continue to win the next opportunity and the next uh promotion is not what we should take at home because in my experience it doesn't work. Um and I think when we listen to each other and understand each other and certainly make the other party understand where you're coming from and that this is not a competition, right? um this is a team and it works better and and I find that the relationship I'm in today is exactly that. It's one where I'm experienced. I'm I've matured. I understand the balance between men and women. And I'm not saying to settle, but I'm saying communicate. Communication is key. And I'm not saying that I got it 100% right, but I'm working hard at the communication part. And I find that that's what's sustaining uh my relationship today. H that is a lot. Um how have you managed to turn it off? Well, it's not about turning off who you are. It's about listening to others and their journey. It's about having that compassion and that empathy that why not invest in that person and what they're going through and their journey and finding inspiration in that to create a balance in your relationship. Mhm. Um because I think sometimes when we're overly ambitious and we were trying to prove ourselves, we tend to talk more about ourselves then we let the other people talk about themselves. Uh and that's not just for a relationship between a man and a woman or a relation or any relationships. Um, I think it's just across any all relationships because you want to run home and tell everybody about your success story, about that great trade and how much money you made and everybody's looking at you like, um, I just made dinner and I thought my dinner was great until you just told me all these things and now I don't really want to talk to you about my dinner. So, I I think that we just have to make room for others because we're an environment that's there's a lot of A players. So, we're all running a million miles an hour and we all are trying our best to be everything that we can. Um, but we need to turn that off or turn it down when we get home because that's a different space. So, it's kind of like what got you here won't get you there. Uh, what makes you successful on Wall Street or any career certainly needs to be revisited if you're bringing that in a relationship. And I think that goes for men too, but it's not viewed the same way for men. Yes. But I personally feel again it's my opinion. I personally feel that men have a way of letting that letting work be at home at at work and then coming home and just getting into the family, you know, coming into the family, finding out what the kids are doing, where's the dog and and what's for dinner. and in a way better than us because we're on and we're trying to multitask and sometime we just forget that we just shifted space and we need to shift our attitude and our presence. Um and I think one more thing to presence one thing that I learned that I thought was very critical when I was a senior VP and I was getting ready to to go through the process of becoming a managing director. One of the lessons I learned was I came into a meeting room and everybody would be there. I came with the agenda. I came understanding the problem and coming with the solutions. But what I was doing is when I walked into the room, I was already leading the group. When I came into the room already deciding on what the solutions were, I turned off everybody else who were were thinking they had this great idea. So sometimes we come into the room thinking we have to prove ourselves. thought just walking in the room was presence enough to give other people an opportunity to speak up. And so that's that's what I mean about a personal relationship. That shift needs to happen. But even in the office, a lot of the younger people coming in, they want to share their ideas. They might even have better ideas than I had. Um, but because I'm trying to kind of run things and and have my agenda and it's all set in my mind, I didn't allow room for others in the room to speak up. And that's a leadership quality. And I had to learn that on my journey from senior VP to managing director. Um, and so and it was such a relief because I didn't have to have it on when I went to a meeting. Yeah. Instead, I can have some ideas. I can jot them down, but my job was to listen and to hear other ideas and then see where that fit with what I was thinking and allowing people to say, "Oh my gosh, I had this great idea and this was implemented in the group and going home and feeling good about themselves and that was a really important lesson." And I think the second lesson that this question leads me to which was very important was winning. Winning is not just I win. Winning needs to be everybody won. And so I actually was in a coaching session that Lehman Brothers had offered um as I was going through my leadership class and in the room were scientists and me and I was very intimidated that I was in a room full of people working at NASA. So of course they're going to be more brilliant. And so the idea was to come up with an answer on who would run Earth in the best possible way. So I decided if I would no thank well I decided if I created the mechanism to which we decided who won based on the the characteristics of the people they created then I would have all the characteristics cuz I've already decided all the characters on the line that would be oh that works that works that works but any case it's long story short I may have been clever right um and I did win Um, but the scientists who were part of my team felt like there is no way not just characters should have won and they all felt pretty bad and I didn't even feel like I was enjoying my win because they all felt pretty bad. And so the lesson in all with the coach was one they needed to be more aggressive in the room to speak up and challenge the way I decided how to grade the system. But at the same time for me I had to learn that winning did not mean Nadja win only. M winning me that we came up with the best person to run earth together and I think that's a lesson that in this world right now we are not realizing and we need to learn from that lesson as well which is winning has to be we win not one party not one person not one group of people not the 99 versus the 1% or the 1% versus the 99%. Yeah. And that's an important lesson for us to Yeah. experience and learn from. Mhm. It's so interesting that you say that because something I ask all of my guests is, you know, what does collaboration mean to you given the creation of the female collaborative which is speaking directly to this point, right? The winning and the true treasure and the reward is userating together to make even better magic because on our own it's just not the same. So that is amazing that you segueed to that. Um, but I want to talk about the other side of nae. I've got the perfect freebie for you. So, I just dropped a 17page workbook to help you get your mind right, especially in this climate of so much uncertainty. So, if you are an aspiring or current entrepreneur and you're just feeling stuck, you're not feeling too good about what the future holds and all the turmoil, the politics, all of it is just throwing you off your game, this workbook is actually going to act as a journal for you. It covers goal setting, efficiency tips, how to manage your time, financial management tips, strategies on how to wrap your head around the next big thing that's coming down the pipeline to bring you consistent revenue in your business. It covers what you should be doubling down on in terms of your well-being. And it is just my favorite jam-packed journal full of marketing and sales strategy to help you get clarity, but most importantly to help you secure the big bag. So, make sure to tap on the link in the show notes. I've linked it there so that you guys can get really clear on the top hacks that you can put into play to set yourself up for success. I hope you love it. So, Nadja, very successful, badass, Wall Street killer, um you know, prominent woman um both in financial services and also in the community. So, I want to talk about Nadja, the woman of God. And there's an article that I read and I want to make sure I don't misquote so I'm going to read it off where you said that you live by this quote. It's by George Bernard Shaw and it is I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do it for it whenever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die for the harder I work the more I live. Yes. So talk to me about that quote and also talk to me about how that relates to you going back to school to pursue a doctorate in ministry. Yes, I always wanted to go back to school throughout Leman Brothers. It was such a challenge for me because I felt like everyone around me had their masters or MBAs and and I'm just a student. I love to study. I love um to be in school. But I had this great job. I had this great job. I was already successful at it. So everybody kept discouraging me and discouraging me and I thought maybe it was law school. I thought it was an MBA. I even went to Colombia to try to do the executive MBA and they said no, you'd be bored. And so I still did a portion of it uh at Colombia, but I um I still couldn't didn't have that part in me fulfilled. But God part is a very interesting one because I've always believed in God and I've always felt like I had some relationship with God. But growing up Catholic, there's always a priest, an archbishop, bishop, a pope before you get to God. That's kind of how I've always imagined it. Um, but what I ended up learning in 2004 that it wasn't that way at all. Instead, um, my relationship with God was in my own heart. Mhm. And I had a mystical encounter with someone who made me realize that and recommended that I go to seminary. And at first I was challenged by that because when I think about my years on Wall Street and what I've seen and and experience, I just didn't see that be me being in a seminary setting and I didn't read the Bible uh every day. So I felt like what how can I quickly catch up uh in a theology class? So I I kind of fought the idea uh up front. Uh but I remember the first three months of accepting that path, accepting that faith, accepting that purpose, uh the teacher asked me in the classroom, why did you come to seminary being successful from Wall Street? And I said, I have no idea because looking in the room, there is no one around me that I thought I wanted to spend time with, be friends with, and I was very honest about that because I was basically clueless. Um 10 years forward now having my doctorate of ministry and being on the board of New York Theological Seminary as board members were asked why did you join the board and I said I don't know where else I fit best I don't know where else I see people who look like me talk like me and are experiencing this spiritual journey like me like this so it was a complete transformation experience for me going into it evolving and realizing the depth of our own light, the depth of our own spirituality and most of all that we have help in everything that we do. And so guidance, this inner guidance, this inner uh authentic voice that tries to communicate with us and and I developed a ministry to work with women um to achieve their full potential and to understand their purpose in life because I had to go through that in seminary um to find that purpose. And I didn't realize until my uh doctorate ministry thesis that my work would be working with women going down the path of identifying and transforming as I did from Wall Street to this theology space where I have a deeper and rich relationship with God and one that is intuitive, one that is authentic and one that is a communication that's on a daily. And so even when I'm on a transaction at work, I always say, "God, I'm going to do my best. You do the rest." And I feel stronger and I feel more able and I feel more focused when I say that because I'm asking my inner light to guide me, not miss something important and not have a mistake or notice something early enough to make a change. And so for me, I can say God saved the best for last. M because with everything I've lived and experienced, with every country I've been to and every culture that has welcomed me, knowing that God exists and knowing that God has been there every step of the way carrying me through has been the best news I've ever had. It's what wakes me up every day to do what I do and to help a lot of these women I work with. That is so interesting. Especially because when you first started your career, being a woman meant nothing to you. You didn't think about femininity in that way. Very true. And now, as you have gone on this path and have gone through your process and evolution, it was almost like you needed to do that in order to be the best you today and find your purpose, which is to serve women in this capacity. Yes. I'm so glad you brought that up because that's a very very big one for me. Uh because when I thought about the project itself I would do, I didn't think of it as a project for women. Uh it evolved that way in my discussions in theology class. And I think it's a mission that's been put in my spirit as my purpose. And I remember when I realized that, I challenged it because I called my mentors and I said, "Are you sure? I've always struggled being in my own skin, being the black woman that I am, and here I am. I'm going to work in a ministry to help other women. Can I do it? Am I going to be authentic?" So, I did ask myself that question. And what I realized the answer is is I'm still not fully healed. M from having been that 11year-old that her dad who means the world to her tell her that because she's a woman and that because she's black the world would look at her with no value and therefore who else would God have appointed me to work with than a reflection of myself. Damn, that is everyone that I work with. Oh, wow. And it's so fulfilling because one important message is when you go to work to do a job, it can wear you out because you're doing it and you're working many hours and you're exhausted. But when you go in the world to live your purpose, you have all the energy in the world. And a lot of the women that I work with tell me, "Why do you make so much time for us? Where do you even find time?" They're right. Where do I find time? But I have to admit the fulfillment I get every time we do a phone call, every time we meet in person, every time we have a dinner and we have this type of authentic conversation, I feel like 10 person strength and I'm thinking about running a marathon because I feel so fulfilled. And that is how God works. God is working within us. And when we're in alignment with that authentic voice, the energy, the fulfillment, the joy, there's no void. It's there. It's you're living your best life. And that's why I say God saved the best for last because I'm living my best life every time you and I meet. Every time I meet the 30 women in my group, I I love how I see God transforming them. Mhm. And that I am a witness to that transformation, knowing I had nothing to do with it. I was just present. And that's all God requires, our presence. So as a woman of God and you essentially are a representation of him, how has that played a role for you uh in business? What is an example where God spoke through you to make something happen? Well, my interesting story about that is when I met our former President Barack Obama for the first time. He was not a senator. And when I met him, I met him through a client. It was a business setting and when I met him, I kept having this strong feeling that he needed bodyguards and I didn't know why I felt that way. So, of course, I go to my skeptical side of my brain that says, "Well, you're from Chicago. What exactly do you do? Uh, does what you do require bodyguards in any way?" And so, of course, he was like, "What a crazy question." Um, but over time, every time I met him, the feeling got stronger and stronger that he needed bodyguards, that his life was had a huge significance and that his life was in danger in some way. Um, and that he required safety. And so, one day I decided to print on it. Barack just happened to be in a room giving a speech for the first time. He came to New York to talk to Wall Street uh, executives. And I was there and I looked at him and I asked God, "What are you trying to say to me about this person?" And it's as if there was like a halo around him. And the answer came and I knew. I was so excited. Oh my god. That was 2004. And I knew he would be president of the United States in 2009. And I rushed to him and I said, "Oh my god, I know why you need bodyguards." And he goes, "Why? What are you talking about?" And I said, "You're going to be our president." And he's like, "Nadja, you need to be a senator before you can become a president." And right now, I'm trying to become a senator. Let's try to work on that. And I just remember thinking, you don't understand what I'm saying, but forget the Senate. You're going to have a lot to learn. You will become president of the United States. And I began this journey of telling everybody I know, everybody I can think of, this is our next president. And that's how I jumped into politics, which I was never involved in. I never raised funds for anybody else, but I became very involved in his campaign. I tried to go to every event. I'm sure he thought I was a stalker. Um, and I remember one big project I had at Lehman Brothers before he became senator. I made him promise that he would be my keynote speaker and he thought, "You want me to be a keynote speaker?" And I'm like, "Yes, make a commitment that you're going to do this." And he committed. And then he became a senator. He won. and before he got into his seat, I had to have my event. And he goes, "Well, now I became a senator and they own my schedule. I don't think I can do this." And I was like, "Oh, no. We are doing this event." And he eventually did. And it was really interesting. Um, but that's where I think business cross with the authenticity and that inner and relationship with God that when you ask, God answers. Yeah. You know, and and you can get skeptical and somebody says, "God told me." I was always skeptical when people said that. But when you're in a relationship with God, God actually tells you. It may not be in the form of me talking to you like this, but you you ask and you get the answer. And the answer seems so obvious and you know that it didn't come from you because you couldn't figure it out on your own. And so my relationship evolved with watching Barack win and um when he ran the second time, although I didn't want to participate again because I I was just so excited that God used me to show me who this person was ahead of time and what that represented in my life, what that represented with my friends. I became known as here's a check for Barack Obama. Everybody gave me checks whether they're Republican or or Democrats. And you know, I became kind of the brand for for Barack Obama. But I have to admit, the second time he ran, I had the opportunity to see him again and and reinforce the fact that we all support him and you know, you should continue on this path. And I think that was the last time I saw him. Um, but I always thank God for letting me into that insight ahead of it actually happening. And I think that's the cross between living our spirituality but also living our full potential and our purpose and not putting leaving our spirituality at the door when we go into our offices. Mhm. We had a tendency to do that. Mhm. Because you know it's kind of taboo to talk about religion in the office. So you kind of leave that side of you but you can't leave that side of you because you're leaving a big part right behind. And so what I've learned is how much less of our physical energy we need and how much more of our intuitive energy we're using when we're living out our purpose. And so we can't leave God out, right? We're missing out on how much greater we could be. Okay, this is so good. Um, okay. Okay. So since Leman Brothers, you know, you've started your own business, you've pursued entrepreneurship and now you have this new found purpose and passion. Yes. So you know, which leads Nadja to have new goals. So state of transformation. So what's next for Nadja? Still work on the love life. That's at least you're not a boo. You ahead of me. Um certainly that's a part that I would like to finally get right. Um and continue to do the work I do with the women. I know that um that part I can't leave behind because it's just it's just everything I am about. Uh I think the next thing I'm also thinking about is teaching at the seminary because I am a teacher and I love teaching. I love being in a classroom. So I'm contemplating that. uh created with a group of u other teachers a curriculum to teach what I teach the women on an individual basis and today we're calling it spiritual formation for executive leaders and I would teach it at the New York Theological Seminary. Um and I'm hoping to do that either in the spring or the summer. Um that's the next step right now. As far as the unfolding of all that Nadja can be or will be, I leave that up to God. And I'm just trusting and trusting more and more every day that God will continue to tell me what's next, where to go, who to speak to, and what should I say. Well, thank you so much again, Na. Uh the class that you spoke about, I think is important. So you guys stay tuned for more details on that. that it will be at the New York Theological Seminary. And I'll be sure to drop the deetss once the class is live. And if Nadja says it's going to happen, trust that it is. It will definitely happen. In the meantime, make sure to like, subscribe, and leave us comments on this video. I always want to hear from you guys. Did you learn something? Do you want to learn something more? Should we bring Na back? Should I beg her to come back on and talk more deeply about a specific topic that we touched on here? That feedback is super duper important. and make sure to stay tuned to the next video. Bye, guys. Hola, mi. Look, I don't know about you, but I'm trying to work smarter instead of harder. You know what I mean? I'm trying to secure these coins with less effort, but more return. What if I told you there was a way for you to make your entire salary, your five, your six figure salary within months? What if I told you there was a way for you to package your expertise where you can sell it to corporate and government agencies and go after lucrative five and six figure contracts so that you can secure the big. And this master class specifically focuses on how you can secure lucrative five and six figure contracts even if you don't know what to sell and haven't started your business yet. I'm going to show you how to identify what your no-brainer offer is so nobody can say no, honey. I'm going to help you think about how to pitch yourself, how to package your expertise. I'm going to show you the email scripts that I use to lock in meetings with hardto-reach executives. This is golden, y'all. It is the same framework that I use right now currently in my business as a consultant and a keynote speaker that gets flown out to speak all around the world, honey. And if I can do it, so can you. And this master class is going to break down the stepbystep process that you can follow. So within the next 90 days, you can have your first five and six figure corporate or government contract. I mean, what are you waiting for, y'all? I put the link in the show notes. Let's go and get it. Hey guys, if you enjoyed this video, I'm pretty sure you're going to love the next one. So, make sure to click right here and tap in to the next episode.
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