Burnout Isn’t the End, It’s Your Breakthrough: Symptoms and Recovery w/ Daisy Auger-Domínguez
Daisy’s journey from a corporate C-suite executive to author and advisor is a masterclass in navigating identity, culture, and resilience. Here are top 3 takeaways:
Embrace Your Authenticity
Daisy’s biggest “secret sauce” was showing up as her true self—Latina, Dominicana, Puerto Rican, woman of color. She reminded us that being authentic is not just empowering for you, but also for those who see themselves in you. Every time she leaned into who she was, she opened doors for others and often achieved more.Burnout Is Real—and Multi-Dimensional
Burnout isn’t just about being tired. Daisy shares that it’s physical, emotional, and spiritual depletion. It shows up as deep exhaustion, cynicism about your work, and unexplained performance dips. Recognizing and acting on these signs is key—not only for our own health but so we can lead others from a place of strength.Redefine Success On Your Own Terms
The old playbook is broken. Daisy’s story demonstrates the power of burning the outdated rulebook and writing your own. With more resources and access than ever, professionals from marginalized backgrounds can—and should—define success in a way that honors their unique experiences.
Feeling seen and inspired by Daisy’s vulnerability and the powerful dialogue on cultural identity, corporate survival, and true leadership.
In this candid and powerful episode, host Victoria Jenn Rodriguez sits down with the inspiring Daisy Auger-Domínguez—C-suite executive, author, speaker, and corporate advisor, for a deep dive into burnout, identity, and authenticity.
Daisy shares her unique journey as a Dominican Puerto Rican navigating biculturalism, building an impressive career on Wall Street, and ultimately rising to the C-suit in tech. Hear her raw and honest reflections on overcoming imposter syndrome, breaking barriers for Latinas and women of color, and reclaiming her identity amidst corporate pressures.
Whether you’re a corporate hustler, entrepreneur, or navigating your own cultura, this episode will encourage you to own your story, break the rules, and design a life on your own terms.
In this episode:
06:31 - Non-Traditional Mother-Daughter Relationship
13:44 - Diverse Expats’ School Experience
20:13 - Corporate Diversity Challenges & Insights
25:21 - Career Growth And Leadership Reflections
36:29 - Burnout From Identity Pretending
Full Transcript:
What's up everybody? Welcome back to Banking on Cultura. I am your host Victoria Jenn Rodriguez and we have a guest today. We have an amazing guest today who I think has known me since I was like in my early 20s. So, if I'm not mistaken, uh, we met, I think I was still on my Wall Street days the first time that we met. Um, she was badass Latina in the corporate arena who was killing it. Gorgeous Dominicana and just someone that I really admired and looked up to cuz I was like, "Wow, who is this that looks like me and is freaking killing it in the game?" And so I'm really excited to have her on today's episode. And she actually just wrote an amazing book all about burnout, which I know is a hot topic right now. Uh so we're going to get into the nitty-gritty of that and so much more. So without further ado, welcome my amazing guest Daisy. Daisy, please introduce yourself to the people. Hi, thank you so much for having me. I am Daisy Auger-Domínguez. I am a seaeite executive, author, speaker, um, and corporate adviser. And I am thrilled to be here with you today. Yeah. Corporate hustler turned entrepreneur. That's right. That's right. I'm a solo soloreneur. Solopreneur. Solopreneur. Listen, whether you solopreneur or got like 10,000 people under you, it is a hustle. It is a hustle, baby. It is a hustle. We like to start our episodes with some bo. So So give us some bonje, Daisy. Boe. Oh goodness. Um I don't know. I don't know if I have some good moche. I feel like this is like a family gathering. I'm sorry. You are Dominican. You got and Puerto Rican. So that's part of my too. Yes. So I've got I've got all the Yes. My mother's Puerto Rican. My father's Dominican. I was raised by my father's family in Sto. Domingo. So that's why my accent and Got it. Dominicanness. But I I am also 50% DNA Puerto Rico. Okay. Okay. Got it. So that's part of the mo today. Okay. Okay. So, let's talk about that. Wing. So, is it ever odd to kind of blend between the two communities or it isn't the the truth is that because I was raised so Dominican and I did not meet my mother until I was a teenager. So, I did not grow up with my Puerto Rican identity as um you know, as fully, you know, lived every day. I always just knew I was Puerto Rican. But I was growing up very Dominican Dominican, right? that all the words that come out of me are, you know, all the expressions and stories come from growing up in Sto. Domingo and I grew up with my grandparents. Okay. And then when I was a teenager, I met my mother and actually my husband in honor of my roots proposed to me in Puerto Rico. Yes. Um and and we got married in the Dominican Republic. Interesting. Okay. So, so there is there is that that wholeness that I always try to reach. And my daughter is Dominican and Puerto Rican on my side and then French Italian on her father's side. So, she's a nice big mix of all of it. And every time that she has to explain where she comes from, she you know, she she says it all. Okay. This is this is my this is this is where I come from. Yes. The best of both worlds. Yes. Why didn't you grow up with your mom? Well, my mother and my father were teenagers when they had me. So, they were 15 and 16 when I was born. back in the day and my parents tried to, you know, have a go at it and they realized that they really couldn't raise me. And my father really actually literally took me and brought me to the capital to Dominican Republic. And my mother, you know, at that point, not really, you know, as she said, and we, you know, we know each other now, was just sort of afraid and didn't really quite know what to do. She just kept that distance that whole time. And she was, I think, afraid that I would reject her. Um, and my family just didn't know where to find her. And so that was that was it. Um and then when I was a teenager um I told my grandfather that I I'd sort of found the courage to say I think I want to you know know my mother. Um and he came to New York and they found her. She was her sister was still living in the same apartment from when they were teenagers. My mother was living in New Jersey. Found her and got her a ticket to come to Sto. Domingo so that I could meet her. So I met her when I was 15. And how was that? Yeah. Wild. Yeah, it was it was um it's taken me decades to really process all of it. I think both of us were apprehensive. Both of us were really excited to meet each other for different reasons. As a mother now, I can only imagine what it's like to be separated from your child that long. um as a daughter who had grown up with a lot of questions and concerns but was also really even though most people don't get this about me and you know that there's I'm I'm really very introverted like and and very inward um thinking so I had kept a lot of my doubts my concerns you know people would ask me the most random questions like where's your mother why isn't she here o that's so strange the man is always the one that leaves right and my father was always so present in my life and my grandmother and my grandfather raised me so deeply with so much love and my aunts, right? So, I felt like I had a lot of mothers growing up. So, I was really deeply motherred. Um, but but I didn't have my mother. And so, when we met, it was strange and it took us time to kind of establish a relationship. And, you know, and I can't say that we have a normal relationship like most mother daughters, but you know, we know of each other. Um, and you know, she just she wasn't there for my formative years. So, it's really hard to remake that. Shout out to our dads. Yeah. Shout out to the daddies out there. Oh my gosh. My father is he's my puppy. He's my love. Same. Big time daddy's girl. Oh gosh. Yeah. Similar to you. My mom had kids very young and she just wasn't ready. And my dad kind of stepped in and had to take over and raise me all on his own. Yeah. And my theas were like my mom's. I would go to Puerto Rico every summer and that was kind of like, you know, them taking care of me, but also my cousins, like everybody kind of like stepped in. But similar to you, it was awkward growing up without a mom cuz I was like, wait, hold on a second. Like, why is she not here? Is it me? Yeah. Or you know what's happening? And there was a little resentment there when I was younger. And it had a lot to do with me not knowing the history. Oh, yeah. Well, and and you're too young, right, for people, you know? I grew up and literally my father would tell me about my mother was that she was really hot. I mean, copy. Uh, I need more. All you need to know is that your mother was gorgeous. Your mom was so hot and she was great. And she grew up in a family like many, many parents in that generation with immigrant parents who were just hustling to make do. And so, the kids were out in the streets and doing all sorts of things. And my father was always deeply present in my life, but not like you. was like I think very early he realized he didn't have what it took to raise me and he was fortunate enough my grandparents were young. My grandmother was 35 years old when I was born. What? That was the same age. That was the same age I was when I had my daughter. Wow. So imagine when I had my daughter I remember going like oh my goodness I can't even figure out how to put diapers on. And my grandmother had raised three people by this time. Three grown people. So my grandparents were really young and I was just deeply fortunate that they were able to financially. They were also more secure financially by that point than when they were raising my father and his two sisters. Um, and they had moved back to the island. And so it was it was a moment where I was really their last kid. Um, and that that gave me so much stability and love that I probably would not have had growing up going, you know, being shuttered back and forth between my parents. And so that that little bit I knew. Um, for me it wasn't resentment. For me it was just not knowing. It was the the people couldn't answer things. I look a lot like my father's family, right? So, there was a lot of like I could see myself in other people. I have my grandmother smile, right? Um but there were still parts of me that I'm just like, well, maybe that's my mother's, right? What does that look like? And I just made up stories in my head. She's like, she must have the most amazing life, right? Like she sacrificed this so that she could do all these amazing things. And I think for me meeting her, um, the first disappointment was realizing she was just a normal human, right? She's, you know, she was a lab technician in New Jersey. She had I had a sister. Um, I knew that I knew I had a sister, but I didn't quite know her age or anything like that. Um, she'd had some failed relationships. She's life had been really hard on her. Um, and so she when I met her, she looked a lot wearier than, for example, my dad. My dad looks really young. He's super He's gonna be 68 in a couple of weeks. She's she turned 68 recently. Um but she just looked like life had life had been a lot harder on her. And so they I went from the okay, you're not what I thought you were, but then the empathy of well I'm really sorry that life has done that. And then I also felt and I don't know if you felt this deep gratitude for everything that I had been given and this kind of this inner voice like like like don't ask for more like like I I come from a family where loyalty and family love is everything. I mean, we call my dad the godfather, right? Like everything's La Familia, right? And and so I felt this deep sense of like I have been given so much. I shouldn't ask for more. Um and I just didn't have the words. I didn't have the I didn't have the context that I have now to say. I was like, "Yeah, I I did deserve more. I did deserve to know that." But you know, we are who we are because of our life experiences. Totally. Totally. Totally. Yeah. is when I started getting older and understanding the history is when I was like now I understand and start the gratitude came like wow and she was still here even though she'd been through all of that growing up. My mom was out of our house at 13 years old. Yeah. So it was it was a interesting childhood to say the least. Um so shout out to our moms and our dads out there. You know who love us. Life is hard as we know. They love us despite their imperfections. Right. Exactly. despite their imperfections. So, were you born in the US or were you born in DR? Where were you born? I was born in New York City and I did I always joke the opposite migratory pattern and I went to the DR. So, I was I was in the DR. I had Dominican residency in the DR but I was always a US citizen. Interesting. Okay. And so you went to DR speaking English. I was two so I was just barely learning how to speak. My first language was Spanish and then around a great grade second was when my parents took me to an international school to study. So that's where I learned English and it was that was my father's thing right because the the plan always was desitta is going to go to college in the United States. So I was like she needs to learn English. My father had lived in the island for one year um in between me being born and he had gone to an American school and so he was like okay she's going to go to an American school and I went to the American school of Sto Domingo and I learned English from age second to third. They have an American school of stoing. They have all this they have all the schools but that's what that one is called. Yes. That is interesting. Okay. The American school of I think it's still there. Um and and it was I wonder who founded that. I know it was it was two American it was an American couple. I remember them. Um really lovely and um and I studied there till my um which is 11th grade. Um I studied there till 11th grade. My dad called me out of the blue one day. I felt it was out of the blue. they had been planning it, but he bought a house in New Jersey that he could ill afford. Um because he was living in the same apartment with my great-grandmother that I had been born in up until that point. Okay. And he bought this house and said, "We're going to move to New Jersey and you're going to come and finish high school here because you have to take your SATs to go to school and we don't they don't offer the SATs in the DR." Um and someone had told him, "She has to take her pre her prets and and her and her SATs to go to college in the US." And he's like, "Okay, we're going to do that." And so when I was 16 and it was in October of my junior year, um I left the school that I had grown up in. Um I had I was in a class of about we were about 20some students from all over the world. My best friends growing up were Danish, Chinese, Israeli, Dominican, Venezuelan, Puerto Rican, right? We were a little mix of everything. Um at the American school, at the American school, Santa Domingo. Yeah, it was you those those schools in in a lot of foreign countries end up being a schools for expats, right? And it is sort of the the schools for kids of industry, families who move to the island and they're either there for a couple of years or they're there to they just establish themselves as as some of my friends did. Um I was one of the few workingclass um you know members of the student body, my grandparents, right? Everybody just pitched in and got all the money in so that you know Basita could go to school. Um and I ended up having just an amazing education which prepared me to move back here. So, did you ever have an identity crisis? You know, it's funny. I did not have an identity crisis, but I had identity breakthroughs. Okay. Because I grew up being Dominican and Puerto Rican, right? But I also grew up with this rich tapestry of diversity around me. And we just really loved on each other on that, right? On any given day, I was at David. So, um David changed his his name as an adult. He's since passed to his original name is Chihuahua. Um, right. But Davidid was Chinese. Um, but we would go to his house and have Chinese noodles and like rice and beans, right? And Ria Arson, Danish, who's still one of my dearest friends. She she moved back to Copenhagen. Her family is Danish. Um, you know, I would spend weekends at Ria's house. And Ria's parents were the family that brought ice cream cones. what we call waffle cones in the US are still called I think they're still called in the DR um Danish cones because they brought those delicious sweet Danish cones to the DR and that was their ind that was their business and so I I grew up on weekends their factory was in their house and I would be helping make the Danish cones with Sven her dad right and and that and you know so you had a whole bunch of cultural everything and we we loved on that at school we had to speak English right we were not allowed to speak our native language unless if unless those of us who spoke Spanish for the one Spanish class that we were get okay the minute we left and we were outside everybody was like and everyone's language and that was just how we how we engaged and communicated so that was my identity but even then I was part of the Wii right I was still part of I everywhere I went in the island I looked like people around me when I moved to the states is when I became Hispanic all of a sudden I go to this little high school in New Milford New Jersey public high school And I hear Hispanic, Hispanic, Hispanic everywhere. And I'm like, I am Dominican. I'm Puerto Rican. Um, but that's when I had this identity breakthrough of, oh, this is the experience for Spanish-sp speakaking people in this country and yet everybody thinks Hispanics are in this little box, right? So, most people were surprised that I spoke English fluently. Um, they would then assume that I was wealthy, which I wasn't, right? So, then they would be like, "Oh, then you're a poor Latino." And I was just like, "Okay, yeah, but like not everybody is." Um, there were all of these identity elements that I kept on that kept that that kept on being pushed on me and every time that I had to check the box to like check my identity, it felt very strange to me because I had grown up in this plurality, if you will, um, of of identity everywhere. And here it was just like, no, you you go here. My English teacher, I remember my um I was placed in advanced English courses when I went to school because I read and and and wrote well. Um, and uh, I remember my English teacher would chastise the class when they would make some grammatical mistake and say I was like, "The foreigner speaks better English than you referring to me." And I was like, "Wait." And I I remember I would just sort of like like I'm a US citizen. You know, I was so naive. I was such a little island girl, right? So those identity piece and then the next identity breakthrough for me was college. Um, because in college is when I became a person of color, right? That's where um never forget at the quad I think a week or two maybe just the first week I was on campus um Cecil Boon this big black football player coming up to me and um another friend of mine who is black Caribbean and we're just sitting there he's like come with us the people of color are over here and we're both like who that it's like I'm like who are these people and he's just he was I remember looking he was looking at us and both of us were recent immigrants to the to the country and we're just like what and I entered this space of this the small community of color at Bucknell University which I went to school in central Pennsylvania and that became my world that became my safety that became the place where I found myself in the context in of US cultural identity. Um so I've had those they weren't they were breakthroughs for me they were identity formation moments but but I never I never questioned who I was. I was so secure because I had grown up feeling so clear on where I came from that to me it wasn't a sense of who am I to me it was a sense of why do I seem less worthy to you why do why do people that look like me get sidelined and marginalized and then I started seeing that in the workplace and that is what's led to the career I've had interesting I did not think that our gene would take us here you see why we start with the wine I see I There's a message. We just never know where it's going to take us. Okay. Interesting. So, Mi, I've got the perfect freebie for you. So, I just dropped a 17page workbook to help you get your mind right, especially in this climate of so much uncertainty. So, if you are an aspiring or current entrepreneur and you're just feeling stuck, you're not feeling too good about what the future holds and all the turmoil, the politics, all of it is just throwing you off your game, this workbook is actually going to act as a journal for you. It covers goal setting, efficiency tips, how to manage your time, financial management tips, strategies on how to wrap your head around the next big thing that's coming down the pipeline to bring you consistent revenue in your business. It covers what you should be doubling down on in terms of your well-being. And it is just my favorite jam-packed journal full of marketing and sales strategy to help you get clarity, but most importantly to help you secure the big bag. So, make sure to tap on the link in the show notes. I've linked it there so that you guys can get really clear on the top hacks that you can put into play to set yourself up for success. I hope you love it. I heard that you were confident in who you were in your identity. How did that change when you went to corporate? Oh goodness. That is actually when that identity piece started breaking apart a bit more because once I went to corporate, my first job was as a credit risk analyst at Moody's investor service. I had gone to um Bucknell University undergrad NYU for graduate work. I did a fellowship in public affairs like all you know good women of color. I got overly credentialed, right? And then I landed I minored in political science. I feel like we're called to these. Yes. My degrees were in international relations and women's studies, right? Like that um which is now gender studies, but I was actually I'm very proud to have created gender studies. That's what they call it now. They call it now. Yeah. Because they focus on men too. No, it's still but it's that is that is the the the terminology now. It's gender. That's like the inclusive terminology. Yeah. That's what they call gender. And I think it's so we're allowed to still be a gender. Well, no. Let's see. We'll see in a couple of months. But, um, it's still, you know, apparently it's only it's only a binary. But anyway, um, so I, you know, that I just I I studied areas that were of interest to me, but, you know, but you can see that there were also areas where I saw sort of gaps in my learning and wanted to learn more. And then I enter corporate America and I start seeing very quickly how people that look like me or not, right, but just underrepresented people, marginalized folks sidelined, right? Um not considered for report leaving, right? Leaving at faster rates in the organization. Um feeling that our voices were quieted. Um I one of my earlier experiences um was I had an wonderful manager and I and I have to say in the early part of my corporate career as challenging as it may have been to um be usually the youngest, the only person of color, the only Latina in most rooms, I had really good managers. They were women. And my first manager, Nicole Johnson, um is a gay woman. And my second manager, she Mayhew, is an Asian woman. So I I think it's it's not surprising that they also um understood identity in a unique way. But I remember Nicole pulling me up and um my my colleague of mine, we had started at the same time and Michael is this big black guy and she pulls us into her office to give us constructive feedback and the constructive feedback is I'd like to hear more from you. Um you know I just I want to hear more from you. Um I see you in meetings. I know you come prepared. Um but everyone has asked the beauty of being a credit risk analyst which is you know I didn't see that at the moment was that you get paid for your opinions right and and it was an amazing place for me in the early part of my career to form opinions and to feel confidence in being able to share them but at the beginning I was like I'm not the first one to talk right I'm I'm like I'm not and um even before I spoke I remember Michael in a very thoughtful way saying Nicole I'm a big black guy I already stand out in every room I'm in. I don't need to do anything to make myself stand out more. My worry is that I'm going to make other people uncomfortable around me. And so I am intentionally not being louder or speaking more. And I remember Nicole, I I could almost see her physically like, "Wow." I remember afterwards when we got out of the room, I remember hitting him and going like, "Why did you tell me that?" Like I'm like, "I could help you." And he's just looking at me. He's like, "Yeah, you're just like cute and little. like you you like you're fine. He's like that is how I navigate the space and I remember feeling so much pain for him even though he was a big bravado type of guy, right? I was like I remember feeling pain for him and feeling feeling like oh I don't I don't feel that piece but what I told her was I just I don't know if my opinion is right. I just I feel I feel insecure like there's just so many smart talented people and Nicole did what a good manager does, right? It was reinforced to me. I was just like your voice matters. We hired you for a reason. Um, but those those were some of the examples and moments where I saw not just how I was experiencing in the workplace, but how my fellow colleagues of color and women were experiencing the workplace and it just wasn't fair, right? It wasn't the same. I was saw so many white men around me just walk with all the bravado in the world and feel comfortable and make mistakes and and not be worried if they recommended a rating that was not approved. They were like, "Okay, fine. Fine, I'll get it next time. Right? Meanwhile, we're all like, if we mess it up, then no one else like me is going to get hired afterwards. Right? If I mess it up, I could get fired. There all these doubts and fears in that early part of my career were really starting to take over. So, you made it to the seauite. I have in corporate. Shout out to you. Okay. Tell us the behind the scenes of what it was really like being a seuite executive Latina who understood now how you had to or felt the need to flex a little bit differently in meetings and just how you progressed in your career. Did that hinder or propel your success as you define it? I believe that my secret sauce is is my strong sense of identity and how I show up and you know you've known me for decades. I'm like I always show up as I am, right? There's situational awareness, right? You always you always know how you know how to connect and mediate in moments, but I'm always who I am. And I think that has always in many ways beginning with the early part of my career at Moody's where I got promoted quite a lot at the beginning of my uh of my tenure at Moody's sort of every other year. Um not just because I was doing my work well, but because people liked working with me, right? Because people appreciated that. And and I didn't value that as much then as I do now. The benefit of being in the seauite in your 50s, right, is that like you've lived, right? I've lived like I have experienced all of the marginalization. I've experienced all the insecurities and I am far more secure in my career. I have also worked in a lot of different places, right? So I know like if this doesn't work out like I can work somewhere else. So there's that sense of of security, but there's also that strong sense of responsibility of I am now the person that our people look at and feel like they can achieve what I've achieved, right? I remember when I was that person trying to find people that I could relate to. And so in many ways, was that a lot of pressure for you? Um, no. It was it wasn't pressure. It was it's actually kind of it allowed me per it allowed me permission to be even extra me, right? Um when I joined Vice at the beginning of the pandemic, it was all virtual, right? And so what what were we doing then? We would send that was at the beginning. Now I think a lot of organizations do this, but we would send a photo um you know of the new executive so that the company could see you and um our CEO would send notes every Friday kind of to you know worldwide to the company and would say, "Oh, we just hired our new chief officer." And so when I was asked for my photo, I thought very intent in intentionally, what photo am I going to send? And so I sent the photo and also because we were eating a lot during the pandemic. So I sent the photo of brunch with my husband, my daughter and I and we're eating mangu
and I was very intentional on sending that photo and explaining what that photo was. I was like, "This is me, my husband, and my daughter, and we're having a traditional Dominican breakfast of mango, right?" And and that was my introduction to the company. And that was the tone that I wanted to set that I was showing up authentically as me and that there is no shame in what we do. And I have to tell you the emails that I received from employees of color all over the world thanking me, feeling seen, feeling so excited that another woman of color, that are Latina, that are Dominican and Puerto Rican, right? All of the things that people could connect with me that reinforced my belief that this is important. this is valuable and that's how I left. So before you got to that point Yeah. because I followed your career and I got the privilege of seeing Daisy in different phases of your career. All the phases. And when you got to Vice Mhm. From observing on the outside, I observed that you reached a point where you started owning more of your cultura and owning more of who Daisy is without having to play so much of the game all the time, corporate persona, right? Mhm. So before you got there, what were some of those insecurities that you had to battle through in order to get you to the place of I'm a senior Latina executive and you going to see me eat my mangoo and my family. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I think for all of us is it's all situational and it's all um the role and the level that you're playing in. Right. So in the early part of my career, you're you know you're you play it really safe, right? You're you walk into rooms and you're not the first to speak, right? You watch how do people speak. I'm like that's how I'm going to speak. That's right. And and in many way and that is that is both the corporate game but that is the life game, right? It's it is being able to be observant and recognize what what does success look like here and eventually down the road especially leading the work of diversity and inclusion which is what I eventually started doing. There was also this sense of responsibility of if I'm going to tell people that they bring they need to bring their authentic selves to work, I need to be authentic, too, right? So, what does that look like? And I've always said this to everyone that I've coached, I was like, you can be your authentic self and also navigate a space thoughtfully. For example, when I worked at Disney, I I I worked on the TV side. So, that did make me a little bit of an outlier in a company where the parks is really the most massive presence in the company. Um, but because I worked uh on the and I lived in LA at the time, I worked on the media side, right? On any given day, we would be walking in floors where Shondaanda Rimes would be walking in, right? Any actress, right? Like, so we dressed the part, right? It's like my cute dresses, my heels, my hair flowing, all of the things. But I would go to meetings where the HR meetings, for example, where everybody looked the same. I always worry about saying these things because I don't want to be offensive towards people that I worked with, but it did feel like it was Steepford Wives, right? Everybody had the same uniform of clothing, cocky pants and skirts, a button-down shirt, almost the same haircut. And I remember walking into those spaces clickity clacking with my heels and going like, "Uh, something looks different here, right?" And usually there was like one more black woman and perhaps one other Latina and one Asian person and we would give each other the eye like, "Hi." And some of them would choose to not clickity clock and some did, right? And those those were the people that were like like you're my people. But I remember in those spaces and I had again a really at that time also a really great male um boss, head of HR. And he would always just tell me he's like I hired Daisy for Daisy. Be you. Everyone's going to want you to be like everybody else because the culture here is so homo hom homogenizing. I can never pronounce that word correctly. Um but I was like I want you to be you. And it was there where I learned both the dance of right being me but also being able to say like let me just be clear. I can speak like all of you. I can hypothesize like all of you and I also bring who I am to this. It was at Disney when we launched the first Hispanic initiative which to me I remember at that point going like it took you this long to do that. And it was when they realized through market research that Latinos travel in packs, right? And they were like the family and grandma comes like see everybody, right? And I remember um I was one of the representatives for my business segment um with Bob Iger and I remember everybody presenting and everybody being so firm and so direct and trying to like fit that Disney mold and my presenter and I just looked at each other was like and we were media so we're just like we're we're going to bring the sizzle, right? and you know showing them all the photos and and I never forget at the end of our presentation and we were just like authentically Latinos and and I mean I was like I was trying to come up with my I don't I don't have a thick accent but I was just like and this is a Latino accent and I remember Bob Iger going like this he's like if I had a mic I'd drop it because you just brought it and and there were moments like that would remind me I have I have been trying so much to play this game but every time I am me I'm actually winning at it more. I like every time I do that I I actually I I'm I'm actually differentiating myself. So there were a lot of moments like that. And there were a lot of moments where just you know there was there were moments of silence. There were moments where I made myself smaller, right? And there were moments where um you know I quieted my voice where I didn't say what I wanted to say because I was afraid, right? Because even as I desperately was trying to bring more seats to the table, I was also trying to desperately keep mine. and that cognitive dissonance, that heart um dissonance that that wears on you. And so I've had it I can't tell you that it's been kind of like a trajectory this way. I've just had these es and flows in my career and the depending on the company when I went to Google. I remember at Google they wanted to like to strip the corporate out of me and that was the first time that I was actually told that I was corporate. I was like, "Me? I'm not that corporate." Like, "I'm just" and they were like, "Oh, no, no, no." Because, you know, at Google, they make up terms for things just to, you know, to name it differently. And and I remember that when I was at Google, it was like stripping me of my corporateness because it was like, that's not the Google way. And, you know, and at first when you're on boarding, when you're start, you're just like, okay, like I want to fit in here because I want to be able to drive. And in order to drive change, let's, you know, we've got to be real. You know, you've got to meet people where they're at. You've got to understand them. You've got to understand what their fears are, what their anxieties are, what gets them excited, what works for them. That's how d change happens. And so for me, it was finding that right balance of how much do I do that without sacrificing who I am. And and I remember at Google there were there were I mean, you know, and I left I left after two years, barely two years. And it was it was one of the places where I felt that the as as individual as everybody was being asked to be. It was I think in many ways even tighter than worse than than Disney. um where Disney I used to joke I was like you know it's not magic and pixie dust every time that you work there was like at Google it was just like everybody has to like you've got to scale and think bigger and we are the top six% of the world and I remember sitting around sometimes going like some of these people are not top 6% right like and I was the executive sponsor for the Latino ERG and um it was the first time that I came face to face with the term um imposttor syndrome and I had heard about it intellectually I knew about it but They swear to you, every single Latino and black young person that I worked with would tell me that they suffer from imposter syndrome in one way or another. And I remember one day just getting so angry and saying, "Stop it. Stop it." It's like, "You deserve the seat that you're in." And when we quiet ourselves, and this was my experience, right? When we quiet ourselves, when we don't show up as the best version of ourselves, that's when everybody that's trying to squash us down wins. It's like, "So that's not what's going to happen. So I need you to say the thing. I need you to be who you are. And at that point also I had achieved a senior leadership role where I could also be their protector and where I could say I'm going to be able to show up for you because I didn't have that at many points in my career but now I can do that for you. And so it is it is it's it's been having been on both sides of it and having been in different organizations with different cultures sometimes try to suck your magic in many different ways and starting to realize as I started moving up in my career. I'm like I sacrificed that but I can regain it. I can find myself again and in finding myself again I can help others not lose who they are. And that's that's been a bit of my trajectory. I love that because it brings me to the topic of burnout because it takes a lot of energy to pretend to be somebody that you're not. It takes so much energy to put on the face and adapt and just emulate into these environments that feel incredibly uncomfortable because you can't be yourself, but also because you are fighting those inner demons of how do I play this game and still hold my seat but still be me and and still, you know, make money. Like even with entrepreneurs right now, they they struggle with this. Like how do I how do I be me and still make money, right? How do I especially transitioning out of corporate cuz they have that corporate identity, right, and culture and they're like, "Wait, wait, hold on a second. How do I go from employee to, right? Like what does this look like?" Uh, and it leads to burnout because you are so enamored with pretending to be somebody that you are not where you almost lose your identity if you don't catch it. You can't. And And I wouldn't I wouldn't necessarily say it's enamored. I would say that um it becomes this strange focus and I have seen it in enough people and I think part of my learning is you know is seeing it and experiencing it and knowing I don't want that. Right? I have I have worked with enough really good-hearted human colleagues of mine who have been hardened by it. Right? and and who all of a sudden, you know, you're having conversations with them and I was like, just tell me what's real, right? Um, I have I have also been hurt and damaged by fellow colleagues of color, right? Who have fallen into the trap of it can only be one of us, right? And it's not going to be you, right? Right? So I have I have seen all of that and I'll tell you that whether you are operating in the supportive role or you are being the one squashing because you're trying to survive. It's exhausting for all of us, right? It is it and it depletes us of who we are. It depletes us of that inner energy and joy which is what needs to be the reservoir that we pull from when things are hard because things are going to be hard for everyone no matter your identity, right? Work is hard. You know, there's a reason why they call it labor, right? This is it's not supposed to be fun all the time, but it's also not supposed to deplete you to the level that it does when for many of us that are grappling with, you know, being part of underrepresented identities and experiences. And so that that is that is for me the most important piece of recognizing I I haven't been burned out once. I've been burned out several times. Right? Now that I know the work um and that I've done the research, it's like there have been points in my career that have been burnt out. And those of us who are overachievers are the most prone to burnout. Those of us who come from um backgrounds that have been marginalized are prone to burnout because we see the signs. We know what's happening, but we the stories we tell ourselves, the story I told myself was that I needed to overwork to be respected. That was the story that I got because from the early part of my career, I was told I needed to work twice as hard as everybody else to get half as far as everybody else, right? That I needed to wear the mask, right? All of that was part of the early part of my career. And and whether you, you know, consciously or subconsciously, right, it it seeps in in those moments of insecurity, those moments where where, you know, it's like like, did I present this well? Did am I going to get fired? Right? That's when those pieces come in. And for me, my deepest burnout occurred when I was at Vines. And it was operational, but it was also behavioral and psychological. What did it look like? Like what are the the signs? Yes. What are the signs? Yes. So burnout. Burnout is physical, emotional, and spiritual. Right. The three signs to look out for when when you're really trying to define burnout because people always like, I'm burned out. I was like, let me say if you're burnt out or you're just tired, right? But the first one is that that sense of total depletion like you've got no more energy left in the tank. And that's the like a weekend won't solve, right? A vacation. You come back from vacation and you're still like this, right? It's that it's that sense that you like you just can't move forward. And my depletion was manifesting physically, right? And so I was bloating. My daughter calls it the itch, right? But I had I felt um these allergic reactions all the way from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. I would I would be having dinner with my family and I'd be doing this and my and my my daughter would be like, "Stop itching. Stop itching." Was that per menopause? I heard that's a sack. It was also part it was right. It also happened around the same time. Um but it but I actually think it accelerated parmenopause. Okay. Um so that was the that's the depletion piece. The second piece is that sense of cynicism where like the things that you used to love don't bring you joy anymore. It's that sense of like I' I've seen this movie play out before. I don't want to. Is that colleague of yours, the one that was always like happy and peppy and always raising their hand for every assignment and all of a sudden they're just like whatever I don't want to do this side eyeing every right it's that sense of losing who you are and then the third one is is the one that most people point to is the low performance is when you start making mistakes that you normally wouldn't when like the simplest thing like what am I going to order for lunch just like keeps you up for hours like I don't know I could right the things that we would normally do it's making bad decisions and knowing that you're making bad decisions and then feeling shame about making bad decisions. Those are the three signs and I had all of them. I had there was one day where I remember looking at my laptop and I don't know if you like me I you know I usually have like 50 tabs open and it was a a tab for COVID cases, a tab for layoffs, a tab for performance management issues, a tab for the newest rec uh um recruitment initiative we were launching. It was all the things. And I remember looking at it and going like, does what I do even matter anymore? Like who cares? And that was self-doubt, but it was it was really burnout masquerading as self-doubt, right? It was that exhaustion of like I just I don't have it in me. And and I like many people experienced that. And and as a chief people officer, I wasn't just burned out myself. I was absorbing everybody else's burnout. I was absorbing the burnout of my fellow seuite execs who as my job was to coach and to support. I was absorbing the burnout of their direct reports who were struggling with how they were managing with their managers. I was absorbing the burnout of my team who couldn't fathom having to structure another layoff and you know and and manage that again or to launch another global initiative when nobody cared, right? Like it was you know hybrid work. God, like bringing people back to offices that I think was the last straw for everybody. And it was all of that that's what caused me a burnout that was then diagnosed parameopal, right? I was diagnosed I have I grew up with asthma. My pneumologist was like I was like, "Listen, I'm getting bronchitis every time I have a cold." He's like, "Yeah, you're over 50. That's going to happen to you now." I was like, "Wait, like I I can't live like this." And it wasn't until I went to um a nutritionist because also as a woman, right, and a Latina there's vanity, right? So I'm just like like this can't work. Like I can't fit into my clothes. I got to keep it cute at all times. What's up? What's up? And she was the first person that took my hormone levels. She's like, "Let's let's take your blood. Let's draw some blood and see what your hormones are." And I'm like, "Fine, whatever." And she sat down with me on video. I'll never forget. And she's like, "Okay, so for a woman your age, your levels should be here. Your levels are down here." She's like, "I have never seen anything this low in a really long time." And I was like, "What? Well, you know," and I'm just asking, I was like, "Well, how does that happen?" And she just looked at me. She's like, "It's sustained stress." So, I had heard about chronic stress. It's the same thing, right? But I had heard chronic stress. I had heard stress, but like we come from people that hustle and do. So, I'm just So, I'm looking at her. I'm still looking at her going like, "Yeah, okay." Like, "So, stress is like my life. Like, what are you going to do?" and and she's just like, "Yep, it's sustained. It's sustained stress. You just you haven't created moments of replenishment and rest and your body is completely depleted." It's like, "Okay, then the next question is, well, what do I do about it?" And she, matter of fact, before she diagnosed anything, she's like, "Fix your life." And I I never and I looked at her, I was like, "You and and then she's like, okay, like here are the things." And then she diagnosed some, you know, supplements and whatnot. Um but it was really she said I can give you and she said out she's like I can like diagnose all sorts of supplements for you but you're going to have to look at your life differently and that's what started me on my journey of what what is happening right started working with my executive coach who's wonderful and started planning my exit my exit I was just like like we both knew we looked at each other and it was it was after getting that diagnosis and it was several meetings after that and several crises that we had to manage and I I was on a video call with my executive coach and she just looked at me and she's like, "You've known what you need to do." Like, I've just been waiting for you to realize it. Yeah. So, we have our identifiers for burnout. What is the data telling us about burnout? Everyone's burnt out right now. Um, the data is telling us that employees are the most disengaged, the most exhausted, um, and feeling the most uncertainty that they that they have had. And mind you, we've been seeing this data before COVID. Actually, burnout was diagnosed as a workplace phenomenon in 2019 by the World Health Organization. So, I used to think when I started doing this research, oh, this is because of COVID. No, the our workplaces, our 247 global workplaces have been slowly depleting us of, you know, our our ability to be able to differentiate between work and life, right? of being able to take those breaks that we need. So that's been happening for a long time. Then you add co to that massive explosion, right? And then you have the, you know, the the great resignation, the giant quit, the silent quit, right? All the expressions that have come up and and um and pieces of how the labor market has shifted. And then in the last couple of years, you've had social and political shifts that have been dramatic. Not to say that most of us have not healed from COVID. I, you know, a friend of mine calls it, you know, we're we're the walking wounded, right? We we are still walking wounded from those days, still trying to figure out what lives we want, how to live our lives. Many people and I have friends who have children who are dealing with long COVID, right? Like like we are still wounded. And then on top of that, you have massive technological changes that are disrupting everything in the workplace and in our lives. You have massive political and social restructuring. The ground is like from underneath most of us. The things that we thought were our safety nets are are just disappearing from the Supreme Court justice decision on affirmative action in 2023 from Roie Wayade being dismantled, right? Like all of these elements that were for many communities that sense of safety being ripped apart and people are just burnt out. And I have never I I mean I every day I I started counting and I stopped. But in a given day I receive I receive emails and invitations to workshops on things that sound exactly like what I deliver all the time and I'm laughing. I'm just like listen I just more people have to do it. But I just started counting and I was I would get dozens of them a day and and burnt out and and I used my my expression was that I wasn't burnt out. I was burnt crispy, right? And I'm starting and I'm starting to see people saying like are you burnt to a crisp? And I'm like yes, yes. Like I'm like use it. Do it. It's fantastic. But I was like, but I'm starting to see organizations finally realizing and of course it becomes a cottage industry, right? So the consultants are coming out of the woodwork. But people need that reprief. People need to understand how to set the right boundaries. We need to and that's what I write about in my book. We need to understand how to communicate what we need. We need to understand how to also spend a lot of time self-reflecting, right? And and that shame that many of us carry that leads to burnout. Those worries that many of us carry that leads to burnout. So we need to start with the self. We need to and I always say this to lead well. We have to live well. And we have to do that in a way that doesn't take away the hustle and the grind. There's always room for that, right? And and people will ask me like, "Are you saying not to work?" I'm like, "No, no, no." Like, you know, I'm I like I can't not not work, right? Like I I have hustle in me, you know, right? I have I come from a people that all that what they know is how to create and build. You want that energy. But I also know that I can't go 247 that way. That my body needs something different. And at age 52, my body needs a lot more rest than I needed when I was in my 30s. And that's okay. And that is necessary. And I replenishing for me, I say that to my 17-year-old daughter. I was like, replenishing for me is very different than replenishing for you. And that is fine. But the important part is that we know when we need that and that we take the time that we need and that we acknowledge and normalize what that looks like. And I do think that in addition to burnout being at the highest rate and and I don't necessarily think it's necessarily the highest rate but is that we are talking about it differently. Um but in addition to that being the case for workers at all levels and I'm talking from entry level to seauite right like everybody gets all of a sudden it becomes news when it's executives are burnt out. I was just like like the people be under them have been burnt out for a really long time and nobody cared, right? But it's beyond that. It's it's now it's also thinking about what life do I want to live and how do I live in a world that has that has shown me that the safety nets that I thought were going to be available to me are no longer available to me. The people that I thought were going to speak up for me do not speak up for me. What does that look like? and how do I find the community and the space to heal and to safeguard me so that I I can show up as my best self every single day. I think that's a great segue to tell people about your books and where they can find them. Oh goodness. Well, my first book is Inclusion Revolution, which I joke is probably banned somewhere. Um, and my second book is Burnt Out to Lit Up: How to Reignite the Joy of Leading People. Um, and they are available everywhere books are sold. Amazon bookshop, uh, your local Barnes & Nobleing, and if it's not there, ask for it. Yes. Um, make sure you guys grab the books and support this Latina Daisy. Thank you so much for joining us today. I feel like we could go on and on with this conversation cuz I have so many more questions, but we are up for time. But if you want Daisy back, put it in the comments. I'll come back. We can we can we can go on to some and we can chat some more. Uh, but thank you so much. There's so many incredible takeaways from today's episode, but the main takeaway that I took is that we have an opportunity, y'all. We have an opportunity to burn the rule book and write our own rules and truly be the architects of our lives in a way like never before. And I think what's really dope right now is now we have the resources to actually do that kind of stuff. Before we did it, but now we do. We have the access. We have the resources. We have the information. So, it's you against you, baby. Every day, all day. Once you choose to step out of your own way, the world is your oyster. So, thank you so much for joining us today. And I'll see you in the next episode. Ciao. Hey guys, if you enjoyed this video, I'm pretty sure you're going to love the next one. So, make sure to click right here and tap in to the next episode.
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