How to Set Your Intentions for 2024 with Cara Alwill & Victoria Jenn Rodriguez
Welcome to episode 1 of the #SecureTheBigBag & Love Unapologetically Summit recap series. Prepare for 2024 to be your best year yet with clear intentions and focus. Want to know how to revolutionize your life and secure your dreams?
About Cara Alwill:
Cara Alwill is a bestselling author and creator of the "Style Your Mind" podcast. A pioneer in the female-driven movement, Cara empowers women to create opportunities and trust their intuition. Her journey spans 15 years, evolving from a popular blog to bestselling books like "Girl Code," a top-rated podcast, and a successful global coaching practice. Featured in Forbes, Oprah Daily, and more, Cara's message resonates worldwide, breaking barriers for women across cultures.
Follow Cara Alwill:
https://www.thechampagnediet.com
https://www.instagram.com/thechampagnediet
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Full Transcript:
Hola, mi gente. Welcome back to Banking on Cultura. I am your host, Victoria Jen Rodriguez, and I'm so excited for you to be here because the next few episodes are going to take you on a behind the scenes journey of what went down at the Secure the Big Bag and Love Unapologetically Summit. I hosted this event in November, 2023, along with my partner, Cara Alwill, and we just got so So much great feedback and literally lives were transformed that I wanted to bring this to
[00:00:34] Victoria Jenn: the banking on cultura community, especially as we are approaching a new year and thinking about who we want to be, right?
[00:00:41] Victoria Jenn: And why do we want to be this person? And what is it going to take in order for us? To get there. So I welcome you to join me on this journey of how you are going to increase your streams of income entering into 2024. But most importantly, how are you going to love yourself unapologetically, and those [00:01:00] around you that you care about.
[00:01:01] Victoria Jenn: So grab your notebook, grab your pen, because mega gems were dropped. And I hope you use this information. And really think critically about, you know, how am I going to set myself up for success as we enter this new year? And I brought in the best of the best experts to break this down. So there's going to be tangible strategies that you can actually implement immediately.
[00:01:25] Victoria Jenn: And make sure when you tune in that you subscribe and leave us a review. I want to know what you think y'all. I want to make sure that we are constantly providing you value. Alright y'all, so, enjoy!
[00:01:37]
[00:01:38] Victoria Jenn: So we wanted to start this event with a fireside chat between Cara and I to kind of get you guys in the loop of how this even came about. So for those who don't know me, I'm Victoria Jen Rodriguez. I'm a master mindset and business coach and Cara and I. got acquainted because through the female collaborative, which is my nonprofit, [00:02:00] we would host events every single year.
[00:02:02] Victoria Jenn: And like many of you probably in this room was obsessed with Karen. I was like, who is she? She's like the Carrie Bradshaw of our time. And I missed the Mr. Big. Yes, unfortunately. I mean, it took Carrie a while. It took her a while. And I always knew that I wanted to work with her. Right. And so I was like, I got to figure out a way to do this.
[00:02:21] Victoria Jenn: And so I did what many of us do when we want to connect with people. I hopped right in her DM and I said, Hey, I'm hosting this event. Are you interested in speaking? Now this is a good takeaway for folks because sometimes people are intimidated to reach out because they're like, Oh, they have so many followers or.
[00:02:39] Victoria Jenn: They're never going to respond to me or they don't check their DMS. Listen, people are in the DMS. Okay. That's where the business goes down. So reach out if there's someone you've been wanting to work with. So I reached out and she was like, literally within seconds was like, absolutely. I'm in. So she spoke at one of our events and killed it in 2020 right before COVID.
[00:02:57] Victoria Jenn: Yes. Right before COVID. Oh my goodness. [00:03:00] Yes. Right before COVID. And. And after that, I was like, okay, now we got to create something together. This was over three and a half years ago and you know, COVID happened. So that was that. And then last year I hosted an event called Gender Wars, which you guys are going to get the part two of today.
[00:03:21] Victoria Jenn: And Gender Wars was all about basically, you know, the tension that exists between high performing men and women. And I reached out to Cara because Cara is in a transition. Go ahead. Well, you
[00:03:31] Cara Alwill: actually posted about it and I pitched you. I said, you were like, you should come to this. I said, no, I want to speak at this.
[00:03:37] Cara Alwill: Oh,
[00:03:38] Victoria Jenn: okay. I didn't remember that detail, but all right. So look at God. So, okay. So that's how she came to speak at that event. It was amazing. We got incredible feedback. So one day, Cara and I decided to link up after that event to just get to know each other better, right. And chit chat some more. So like many great ideas, this idea [00:04:00] of the summit was born in a wine bar.
[00:04:02] Victoria Jenn: As we were talking about, you know, the gender wars event. And I was like, you know what, Cara, I want to host another yearly event and you should do it with me. And at first, Cara was very hesitant because Cara doesn't do events. She's the talent, right? That's how we call it. She's a talent. She doesn't
[00:04:20] Cara Alwill: organize events.
[00:04:21] Cara Alwill: I'm not detail oriented, you guys. I had this is very out of my comfort zone.
[00:04:25] Victoria Jenn: So after a couple of glasses of wine, got me drunk and I finally convinced her. But I convinced her because both of us are in this state of transformation in our lives, in our careers. I'm very much moving into a space of really helping women start and scale up businesses.
[00:04:45] Victoria Jenn: Cara is transitioning to a space of really doubling down on relationships. And so the idea came about to host the Secure the Big Bag and Love Unapologetically because there's no other event like this that exists. Usually you will find people are either talking about money and business. And that's [00:05:00] it, or they're talking about love.
[00:05:01] Victoria Jenn: There's never a hybrid. And so Cara and I believe that we now, more so than ever, need more love in our lives. Can I get an amen? And we also need to secure the big bag. Can I get another amen? And so we felt that by keeping the two separate, we are really not highlighting the significance of living a truly fulfilled life when you're able to create that hybrid.
[00:05:29] Victoria Jenn: Either one has us in a chokehold. We're either worried about love and our relationships, or we're worried about money. And they
[00:05:34] Cara Alwill: impact each other. Like, if you're stressing out over a relationship, and you're trying to, like, understand, read text messages from some guy all day, you're taking time away from your business.
[00:05:43] Cara Alwill: If you're in an unhealthy, unfulfilling marriage, let's say, that's draining your energy, right? So, like, everything impacts each other.
[00:05:51] Victoria Jenn: Totally. And so we wanted to be innovative and be the first to create this hybrid and shout out to everybody in the room who believed in the mission and the vision and who [00:06:00] gets it, right?
[00:06:01] Victoria Jenn: Who understand that there is power in creating that hybrid.
[00:06:06] Cara Alwill: For sure. Do you want to talk about some of our personal experiences and kind of where we're at in our lives right now and like moments that have helped us kind of pivot?
[00:06:07] Victoria Jenn: You kick it off. Let's go. Okay.
[00:06:07] Cara Alwill: So I feel like a lot of you guys have probably heard some of like my business, um, mistakes or failures, if you will.
[00:06:13] Cara Alwill: I don't believe in failures. I actually believe everything's an experience. Um, and I've talked extensively about that. I don't want to talk about that today. I want to talk about my personal, the changes in my personal life. Um, so I was married for 10 years and my husband was like a huge part of my business.
[00:06:26] Cara Alwill: Just like, you know, we had like a great friendship, a great partnership, but The relationship aspect of it wasn't really what I wanted it to be. So I got a divorce in January of 2020. A lot of things happened that year. It was the year that I was turning 40 and I just knew that I wanted more. And I was looking at the way that I handled my business and my life.
[00:06:45] Cara Alwill: And I never settled in any way, shape or form when it came to business. And I was like, why am I settling in my marriage? And it was tough for me because there was no like problems. Like there was no drama. We didn't fight. We were like best friends, but it just wasn't enough. And somebody said to me.
[00:06:59] Cara Alwill: [00:07:00] Wanting to leave is enough. You don't need a whole reason, you don't need to, you know, be apologetic about it, or feel bad, or feel guilt, and I think women struggle with that. So I did, I got a divorce, and it was an amicable split, and then I found myself as this like newly single Successful 40 year old woman and it was a very different woman than when I was 29, right?
[00:07:20] Cara Alwill: Like just starting up my business and learning things and you know, not like where I am today And I noticed that my relationship started to look very different And I was like if I feel this way and I'm struggling to meet people who are on my level and giving me what I want At this new standard that I was living there's got to be other women out there that also feel the same way So I kind of went on this path where I was like, Oh, that's a little brain.
[00:07:38] Victoria Jenn: But we'll take some light. Listen, the light makes a difference, darling.
[00:07:38] Cara Alwill: Okay. Um, so I kind of just like went on this, like. Path, like just, I just started to talk about it. I have a podcast. It's called Styling Your Mind. If you guys don't know about it, um, subscribe, uh, please and thank you, leave a review. No, but I started to just like have like honest conversations about what I was going through and I was getting this overwhelming response from women who were like, thank you for like talking about this.
[00:07:57] Cara Alwill: Cause I think a lot of people are afraid to talk about [00:08:00] relationships that failed or just struggles in general with like dating and love. So I became obsessed with the topic. So this moment in my life that was. So, like, really sad and, like, transformative turned out to be, like, one of the best things that ever happened to me.
[00:08:13] Cara Alwill: And it put me on this new path, and I feel super fulfilled, and now I get to talk to a whole new group of women about a whole new topic, so I think that some of those moments can really change us for the better.
[00:08:22] Victoria Jenn: Yes, and your blog is also a vibe. Thank you. Like, like I said, Carrie Bradshaw of our time.
[00:08:28] Victoria Jenn: Like, I love it. So my story, obviously I have all the crazy boy stories as well, but I want to focus on The transformation in my professional life. So, I'm a corporate hustler turned serial entrepreneur. I was in corporate for about 15 years. Worked on Wall Street, consumer product goods, I even worked on legislation in Washington and Albany.
[00:08:49] Victoria Jenn: And my last corporate job, I was heading up talent management for Johnson Johnson. And they came to me and asked if I wanted to relocate to Tampa. Now, I know some of you are [00:09:00] meeting me for the first time, but I'm definitely more of a Miami girl. No shade to Tampa. So, I gracefully bowed out, took my severance package, and went on the hunt for a new gig, because Corporate and I got along very well, you know?
[00:09:12] Victoria Jenn: I was traveling on their dime, staying at five star restaurants, I mean, five star hotels, and it was a vibe, right? I had no beef with Corporate. So I was going on interviews, making it to final round. Some of you might be in this process now, and I wasn't able to close. And I'm like, what is happening right now?
[00:09:31] Victoria Jenn: And so I took it as a sign. I took it as a sign from God to bet on myself and see how far I would go. And that was seven years ago. And since then, I've launched multiple different businesses, tried to find my way. The first one in my family to start a business. So had no mentors or anybody that I could really go to, to show me the ropes.
[00:09:51] Victoria Jenn: So a lot of it, when I first started. Was trial and error, right? And here was a time where technically I wasn't laid [00:10:00] off But yeah, I was because I no longer had a job anymore, right? and I needed to figure out how I was going to reinvent myself and one of the major themes of today is Reinvention everybody say reinvention, right?
[00:10:11] Victoria Jenn: We want you here to have an open mind an open heart Right? So you can truly receive all of the gems that are going to be dropped on this stage, given all of our amazing experts. It's the signs. Right? The fact that you're here is a sign. The fact that you chose to invest in yourself is a sign. Who you're sitting next to.
[00:10:27] Victoria Jenn: I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. So where you chose to sat today, that's a sign. Right? So take advantage of who you're sitting next to and meeting today, because those signs will lead you to Be gold at the end of the rainbow, right? But you have to pay attention. So got laid off, started my first business.
[00:10:31] Victoria Jenn: Seven years later, here I am hosting this amazing event with these beautiful folks in the room. And later on today, you'll hear more of the behind the scenes of who I am and why I am. But I wanted to make sure that you guys knew. How significant it is for the, for the time that we're in. Like, how significant this time is.
[00:10:47] Victoria Jenn: And how mindful you have to be even if your mind is full. That's from one of my favorite poets, De La Vega. Right? Be mindful even if your mind is full. Because a lot of us are being stretched [00:11:00] in so many different directions right now. So many pressures. Right? And we're also in our own minds. Right? We're also in our own minds.
[00:11:08] Victoria Jenn: Which brings me to So the press calling me the imposter syndrome killer, right? So I mentioned to you guys that I'm a master of mindset and business coach. So a lot of the work that I do now, after 15 years in corporate, seven years in the entrepreneurship trenches, right? Now I understand how important it is for us to master our mindset, how important it is for us to understand what imposter syndrome really means.
[00:11:34] Victoria Jenn: To understand how important it is for you to constantly pour into yourself and constantly build your confidence, right? So that is gonna be major themes that you're gonna hear out here throughout today So we wanted to start with an exercise to make sure you guys set the tone, right? Set your intention.
[00:11:52] Victoria Jenn: Everybody say intention. Everybody's gonna be here. Everybody here is gonna be intentional. Yes So let's get into what those prompts are. Yeah. So,
[00:11:52] Cara Alwill: um, that is the first prompt. What is your intention for today? Do you guys have a piece of paper? Can you write it down? What do you really want to walk away [00:12:00] from this experience with?
[00:12:01] Cara Alwill: And just, we're going to give you guys a couple of minutes just to write it down and
[00:12:01] ?: think about that. Do you want to share
[00:12:01] Victoria Jenn: yours? Sure. So my, this is on the spot. I didn't think about that. But you know, since we started curating this experience, my intention has always been to provide the tools and resources that everyone in this room needs in order to thrive, but most importantly, to be happy.
[00:12:21] Victoria Jenn: Right? We always think so much about our professional accolades and about what we've accomplished and, and what we can check off our to do list and, and what degrees did we get and the new raise that we got the new acquisition, whatever it is. And we always tend to put our happiness last. And so that is a big part of the love component of today.
[00:12:44] Victoria Jenn: And a big part of my intention and making sure that you guys don't lose yourself. As you continue to aspire, as you continue to thrive, as you continue to develop into the best version of you, make sure that you're taking you along that journey, right? So that's my intention. What about [00:13:00] yours?
[00:13:00] Cara Alwill: Hmm, I didn't think about it either.
[00:13:02] Cara Alwill: I think for me, I really want to enjoy being out of my comfort zone, and I think that's a huge lesson in business, like trying new things, even though I resisted coordinating and hosting an event like this, like Victoria said, I'm usually a speaker. Um, and it's scary if I'm honest, I've never sat up here and interviewed people.
[00:13:17] Cara Alwill: I do it in my pajamas on my podcast from my living room, um, not in like a feathered, you
[00:13:22] Victoria Jenn: know, outfit. Ten million downloads by the way. Almost eleven. Almost eleven. Talk your shit through. Um, no, but I
[00:13:28] Cara Alwill: really just want to enjoy like being out of my comfort zone and like learn. I just want to learn. I think as a teacher and a coach, I'm always helping others, which is my passion and my heart.
[00:13:37] Cara Alwill: But like really just take the time and like absorb all the knowledge coming from our incredible speakers today and
[00:13:42] Victoria Jenn: you guys. So everybody got their intentions wrote it down. All right. So this next one is this is a spicy one. This is actually Something that came up. So I turned 40 this year and I went to costa rica for a Retreat [00:14:00] I went to two retreats while I was out there because I wanted to Reconnect with my soul like I wanted to find myself again.
[00:14:06] Victoria Jenn: I wanted to figure out What do I want this next decade to be about and also like who am I in this new era? Right and who do I want to be and what do I need to like go of how do I want to show up? And so one of the journal prompts that came up during that retreat was what do you find yourself? Quieting so the world is not offended write it down guys.
[00:14:29] Victoria Jenn: What do you find yourself quieting?
[00:14:32] Cara Alwill: All right, and the next one What beliefs do you need to let go of in order to step into your next level? So what beliefs keep you small, hold you back? What do you need to release in order to get to the place you want to be?
[00:14:47] Victoria Jenn: Ashley, while folks are writing, can you check on that TV for me?
[00:14:47] Victoria Jenn: Repeat the last one? You want to repeat the last one? Yes. What beliefs
[00:14:47] Cara Alwill: do you need to let go of in order to step into your next level? And some examples of that could be like, you know, I'm not a person who has money or I am not deserving of love, like something that you've told yourself, a story that you've told yourself for whatever reason, I think we all do that right throughout the [00:15:00] years.
[00:15:00] Cara Alwill: Um, so what needs to go?
[00:15:03] Victoria Jenn: And then the next question is,
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[00:15:05] Victoria Jenn: [00:16:00] who do you need to become to operate at your fullest potential? Who do you need to become? These are bangers. I know, right? I mean, I don't see you writing. Yeah.
[00:16:52] Cara Alwill: And you guys can come back to these questions at any time. Like, that's what I like, love so much about just coaching and what [00:17:00] we do and like self development.
[00:17:01] Cara Alwill: Like, this is stuff I think we should be asking ourselves all the time. Anytime you're, like, you know, starting a new venture or getting into a new relationship, the beginning of the year, 2024, is coming very quickly. It's a couple weeks away. So this is, like, great stuff to journal on, like, New Year's Eve or New Year's Day.
[00:17:18] Cara Alwill: It's like we're starting a brand new year.
[00:17:19] Victoria Jenn: I think we should have some people share. Let's do it. Yes. What brave souls do we have that want to share? Alright, I see Jenny. Who I met last night who flew in all the way from L. A. Shout out to Jenny. Go ahead. Stand up mama so people can see you.
[00:17:19] Victoria Jenn: Let's go with the first one. What is your intention?
[00:17:19] Victoria Jenn: Yes, I love it. Thank you, Jenny. By the way, shout out to everybody that was Yes, use those clappers. Shout out to everybody that was in the building last night. It was a vibe. Right? It was a vibe. I
[00:17:19] Cara Alwill: had to make myself go home. I put down the wine. I was like, girl, get to bed.
[00:17:19] Victoria Jenn: I wanted to stay. I was like, are you tipsy?
[00:17:19] N/A: Alright,
[00:17:19] Victoria Jenn: who else wants to share? By the way guys, we purposely designed this event to be intimate. So there's not a thousand people here, right? And that is done on purpose for these moments like this, right? For you to actually be able to connect with people for real, in a very genuine way. So everybody's taking off the mask today.
[00:17:19] Victoria Jenn: It might not be right now, but it will happen. Think of
[00:17:19] Cara Alwill: this as like a live group coaching, in a sense.
[00:17:19] Victoria Jenn: Yes. Okay, who else wants to share? Yes, Erica.
[00:17:19] Victoria Jenn: Yes. Love it. So who wants to share, uh, who, who they find, uh, what they find quieting to not offend the world? I saw that hand, and then we'll come to you, go ahead. Stand up so people can see you.
[00:17:19] Victoria Jenn: Okay.
[00:17:19] Victoria Jenn: Do you find yourself quieting that?
[00:17:19] Victoria Jenn: Okay, okay.
[00:17:19] Victoria Jenn: Next. Hold that right here. Yeah. I'm
[00:17:19] N/A: Ashley.
[00:17:19] Victoria Jenn: Okay, wait. No, no, no, no. Before you sit down, you said you'd gone through an arrest? Yes, I
[00:17:19] N/A: was arrested. Wow. Talk
[00:17:19] Cara Alwill: about reinventing yourself.
[00:17:19] N/A: Yes. And
[00:17:19] Victoria Jenn: that is the story right there. I love it. Brenda.
[00:17:19] Cara Alwill: I love that. Have you guys ever seen, there's like a, I think it's like a sweatshirt and it says, if I'm, if I'm too much, then go find less. I think that's going to be the mantra for me for 2024. So thanks for inspiring that
[00:17:19] Victoria Jenn: Brenda. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. One more share. God. Yes.
[00:17:19] Victoria Jenn: Yes. You're doing it. Thank you. So Cara, I think that we should share something about ourselves that we haven't yet publicly.
[00:17:19] N/A: Oh my
[00:17:19] Cara Alwill: god, I feel like I'm on Oprah or something right now. I have to go first? Yeah! Give me some inspiration, like what? I don't know. I don't know. I'm an open book, literally. I write books about my life.
[00:17:19] Cara Alwill: Uh, let me think about it. Can you share first? That is true. Sarah, what about that guy next to you? Ooh, Dex? Yeah,
[00:17:19] Cara Alwill: so, okay, I'll share. I was like, we were at the mixer, and I'm standing there having my drink, and this guy walks in that I had gone on a date with like a year ago, and it didn't work out romantically, but we stayed good friends, and he just happened to be walking by, and he's like, I saw you in the window, and I was like, really?
[00:17:33] Cara Alwill: He's like, I couldn't miss you. And I'm like, oh, I had like a crazy dress on. Um, and he walked in, and we like had drinks, and we actually reconnected. Like, we started texting, and again, it's not like a romantic thing, but that's a great, actually, like, story to talk about how love, which we'll get into, and relationships.
[00:17:48] Cara Alwill: And we were talking about this, I was talking to somebody about this earlier, like, platonic relationships can really teach us a lot as well. So, I think it's something to To recognize, right? We're always on the hunt for a boyfriend, or a husband, or a [00:18:00] girlfriend, like, sometimes it's not like that. Sometimes it's just friend love that helps us grow.
[00:18:04] Victoria Jenn: I feel like that was a safe one, but okay. I
[00:18:08] Cara Alwill: did not sleep with him ever. Is that what you want to know? I would have if I wanted to. I didn't want to.
[00:18:14] Victoria Jenn: Let's get the tea here.
[00:18:16] Cara Alwill: Let's unwrap it. I wanted more.
[00:18:18] Victoria Jenn: I gave you more. Let's do it. Let's do it. Uh, okay, let's see, what do I want to share that I haven't shared publicly?
[00:18:19] Victoria Jenn: So Cara and I, I think one of the reasons why you and I connect so much is because we are transparent and we share a lot. We're also Taurus, we're also both Tauruses, so that could be it too. But you know, we have built our brands around vulnerability and around sharing the stuff that sometimes people feel.
[00:18:44] Victoria Jenn: I feel very uncomfortable about and for Cara and I, we found power in that and freedom in that. And so this is why I posed this question about, Hey, let's share something we haven't shared publicly because we share so much publicly. What are we actually holding on [00:19:00] to for us? And do we need to be mindful of that?
[00:19:04] Victoria Jenn: Right? Yeah, I've thought about
[00:19:06] Cara Alwill: that a lot in terms of sharing my relationships. Um, I shared one post divorce relationship that I was in and it fell apart. And then I had to hear like everybody on Instagram sending me messages, Where's John? Where's John? I don't see his picture. I'm like, what do you think happened to John?
[00:19:19] Cara Alwill: Did he like, explode and like spontaneously combust? We broke up. But like, I think, moving forward, um, like, I'll keep, like, the special relationships private. Cause I, you do need something for yourself when you are the face of your brand. I think you do need to be mindful
[00:19:33] Victoria Jenn: of that. So, in popular news, Lori Harvey, right?
[00:19:38] Victoria Jenn: Is an example of always has her relationships out there on Front Street. And It gets people in a ruckus, right? And all these judgments and you have all these people saying, oh, but it's her, she's the problem or oh, she's not doing this. It can be the same when you try something new in your business, right?
[00:19:56] Victoria Jenn: It can be like really scary to actually like let the world know [00:20:00] like hey, I have this new product I have this new service because if it doesn't work out then you're gonna have people with the judgment, right? And saying like oh, well, why didn't work out? Oh, she must have not been good enough or oh He he must have not made that much money.
[00:20:13] Victoria Jenn: He's lying or whatever it is and it kind of You know, deters us from really sharing with the world what it is that we're working on. And then we get in our heads and we just don't do it at all. And we're like, Oh, forget it. Like I'm not even going to start that new business or I'm not going to even launch that new product because it might fail.
[00:20:30] Victoria Jenn: And I don't want the shenanigans, right? I don't want to be judged. I don't want people to. Look at me as a failure. So can we talk about, you know, we wanted to make sure this conversation spoke about fuck ups, right? And things that really didn't work out for us and how we were able to use that to our advantage.
[00:20:47] Victoria Jenn: So do you want to kick that off for us? Yeah, I mean,
[00:20:49] Cara Alwill: I'll tell the story that I say this a lot, but for those of you that don't know me, um, so I'm an author. I've written, I'm working on my 10th book right now, which actually is about relationships. We're going to get that out of the way and then I'm going [00:21:00] to keep the rest of them private.
[00:21:01] Cara Alwill: Um, no, but I, my first book, um, I started writing it in 2008 when I launched my blog. And I told everybody that I was writing a book. Like, you know, not that I had a ton of like followers, but like everybody in my life knew. I was pitching this book, I had an agent, like I thought I was going to get a book deal.
[00:21:15] Cara Alwill: And the book got rejected not one, not two, not three, but 19 times by 19 publishers. And I think most people would have been like, okay, I'm good. Like, I'm just gonna like start on another dream now. And I was like, no, like F this. Like, I'm gonna self publish my book. And I did. And I self published all of my books and wound up getting a book deal years later.
[00:21:36] Cara Alwill: But like, I really had to like tell people what I was doing. And at the time Self publishing now is like a great option for people and I think with personal branding and social media like back then Instagram didn't even exist. So if you self published when I did it, you were looked upon as like a failure.
[00:21:51] Cara Alwill: Like you weren't good enough to get a book deal. You know, you had to like do it on your own and you know, carry your books around to events. And I did. I used to roll my little granny cart in [00:22:00] Brooklyn to the bookstore and like Sign my books, but now all these years later, I've actually capitalized on that, and not only did I get a book deal, a double book deal, a six figure double book deal, I went back to self publishing and I launched a course on how to self publish that regularly brings in multiple six figures a year in my business.
[00:22:17] Cara Alwill: So you can take anything that, like, Screwed you over or like that you quote failed at monetize the hell out of it and help people in the process
[00:22:25] Victoria Jenn: Yeah And I think one of the reasons why that has been so successful for you is because you shared that and you've let people know I'm human just like you right a lot of us tend to think that we need to pretend to be somewhere that we're not in order to be Successful or in order to fit in that room or in order to get a seat at that table, right when in actuality The more vulnerable you are, and the more open you are to actually sharing real stuff that happens to real people, the more people will want to gravitate towards you, right?
[00:22:55] Victoria Jenn: And want to invest in you, and want to be just like a part of your world. And trust you,
[00:22:59] Cara Alwill: [00:23:00] right? I don't trust people that act like their life is perfect. I just can't relate. Like, I want to know what happened, what went wrong. I don't think you have to tell peop I think this is a question that I get, I know you probably get it too.
[00:23:10] Cara Alwill: You don't have to tell people while it's falling apart, right? They say like, teach from, uh, the scar, not the wound. So like, process it. Take the time to process whatever you're going through, and then find a way to tell that story.
[00:23:22] Victoria Jenn: I like that saying. Process from the scar, not the wound. I like that. Yes, I like that.
[00:23:27] Victoria Jenn: Uh, so my quote unquote failure story, and when Cara and I were preparing for this conversation, we were like, we have to share failures, and both of us were like, failures? We didn't have no failures. Like, because we don't view it that way, right? It's a mindset shift that took time. For us to get here, but failure is really just again another opportunity for you to reinvent yourself, right?
[00:23:49] Victoria Jenn: For you to make something out of nothing, right? And so I told you guys I was technically laid off and then after prior to that I was laid off, too I was laid off like three times during my corporate career, right? [00:24:00] And That last time I was laid off, I let everybody and their mama know like, Hey, I'm looking for a new gig, like hook a sister up, if you know anything, you know?
[00:24:08] Victoria Jenn: So everybody knew that I was on the job market. And so I would constantly get the questions. Oh, did you find something yet? Did you find something yet? And I had to be like, no, I haven't found anything yet. I haven't been able to close, right? Again, a reminder in my head, like, why am I not closing? Like what the hell?
[00:24:24] Victoria Jenn: And so at the last. Straw when I decided like, you know what I took the sign from God. I'm gonna bet on myself. I was invited to a very bougie invite only dinner and At that dinner. I actually saw one of the people that I interviewed with his name is Sal Mendoza He heads up diversity at NBC and I see him at this dinner and I'm like, okay, this is awkward because I didn't get the job, right?
[00:24:52] Victoria Jenn: And I was like, okay. And then my mentor that was there was like, you should ask him why you didn't get the job. And I was like, you know what? That's a good idea. I should go ask [00:25:00] him. And at that time I had already publicly announced that I started my business and this was going to be my new venture. This is what I'm going to do, right?
[00:25:08] Victoria Jenn: So I walked over to him and I was like, Hey, uh, I just want to get some feedback from you. And he was like, why didn't I get the gig? And he said to me, you know what Victoria Jen, it doesn't even matter, we felt it wasn't a cultural fit, that's really what it ultimately came down to, but I know you started your business, so let's talk about how I can get NBC involved in that.
[00:25:24] Victoria Jenn: And they have been a client of mine for the last seven years. Again, lay off, didn't get the job, right? So this is another example of why it's important to also not burn bridges. Right. So
[00:25:37] Cara Alwill: the saying rejection is redirection.
[00:25:39] Victoria Jenn: Talk about it. Okay. So our session is about to come to a close and I want to welcome the next panelist up that we are, and we're going to enter into the business of love and money.
[00:25:39] Victoria Jenn: And I'm really excited about this conversation. I'm going to be taking notes because this conversation is going to be about post nups, um, pre nups about going into business with your boo, building things from the ground up and really. The business of love, right? So get into it. So
[00:25:39] Victoria Jenn: So, so what ultimately, like,
[00:25:39] Crystal Etienne: um, Thanks for listening to today's episode. Don't forget to make sure and leave a review. This is super important because this is [00:26:00] how we're measured on the different audio platforms. So if you want to hear more of Banking en Cultura, if you were vibing, if you had takeaways, if you just enjoyed this episode, please make sure to leave a review.
[00:26:12] Victoria: I appreciate you so much. Until next time.